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The lesson from the quote would be to actually observe more for what you are looking. Coincidences are common, but it isn't serendipity until you actually noti
by scrupulusalbion 11y ago
The lesson from the quote would be to actually observe more for what you are looking. Coincidences are common, but it isn't serendipity until you actually notice it.
>I think I just feel saturated by online dating and the pre-engineered and instant gratification feelings that can come along with it.
Instant gratification seems to be the downfall of many a relationship. The honey-moon effect (iirc the name) is a problem if one or both partners rely on instant gratification to sustain the relationship.
- p4wnc6 11y agoI didn't seek instant gratification, nor did my partners. And in fact, one thing I had in common with each partner was a mutual dislike of the online interface through which we met specifically because we felt it forced instant gratification mindset upon you. This is only an anecdote, of course, so others may have vastly different experiences. But for me, it felt impossible to interact with almost all other participants in a dating platform unless you did seek instant gratification -- because that's what everyone else was evaluating in you (the ability to serve as instant gratification for them). That's what I mean in terms of disliking the instant gratification aspects of the dating platforms. It seems integral to the platform, regardless of whether it's part of what you personally are seeking (it wasn't for me) and this has been constant across several different platforms over a fairly long period of time, so it seems more like a consistent trait of online dating platforms than a particular consequence of how one uses them.