15 ms·

We've all been there Dr. Habib. > I waited there for about twenty-five minutes, absent-mindedly scanning old newspapers while watching the goings-on about the

by maaku 11y ago

We've all been there Dr. Habib. > I waited there for about twenty-five minutes, absent-mindedly scanning old newspapers while watching the goings-on about the office and repeating what I wanted to say about the North Korean rocket launch over and over in my head. As someone who is also an introvert struggling to pass as an extrovert at many times (though thankfully not on live TV, thank god), I can offer a little trick that helps to prevent these situations: practice out loud. It's simple, but effective. When you encounter one of these "freezes" your natural instinctive response is to fall back on what you've practiced -- physically, not mentally. And what you actually practiced, Dr. Habib, is mutely thumbing through newspapers. What I do when I have a big speech or talk is find some quiet room beforehand and actually practice my speech or talking points out laud, until I have them basically memorized. Then I throw out the notes and give an extemporaneous talk. It always goes different than planned, but when I get stuck my mouth automatically goes to start forming the phrases I had practiced and I get back on track. I get complements and people are super surprised to find out that I'm actually introverted and dread public speaking...

bpchaps 11y ago
I actually practice out loud, sometimes in front of a mirror just to practice my mannerisms. It doesn't tend to work very well. At the time of speaking, you just go completely blank. Preparation doesn't help when the only thing you're mentally capable of doing is being ultra-aware of every inch of your body and facial patterns. I have bipolar and social anxiety. When I'm in my "up", I can speak in front of a large crowd fairly easily and can't even come close when I'm in my down. Thing is, the two comorbids work together. If, for example, I mis-say something, my mood has a tendency to completely drop, which affects my social anxiety, which affects my mood, etc. It tends to last for about a week after that. Unfortunately, this sort of thing can't be labeled as introversion vs extroversion. The problem is very, very complex and has many facets. Giving it an introversion label doesn't do any justice to the intensity of the problem. If anything, canonicalization of this sort seems to do more damage than good, as it gives a false sense of understanding of mental health.
- hayksaakian 11y ago
  practice against a solid wall it helps you to hear yourself specifically, and separates your physical distractions.
- maaku 11y ago
  I think the mirror is the problem here. A better idea is to videotape yourself and watch it afterwards. Of course all situations are different and you are dealing with something else, but it's worth a shot.
- whitegrape 11y ago
  In one sense you're practicing the wrong thing. You need to practice going off from the top of your head, not practice any particular routine or speech. How long can you talk to yourself without going blank on what to say next, or getting stuck in a repetition loop? If you have this down, then you can practice speeches, but when you inevitably forget something because memory isn't perfect, your skills at improvising and filling in the blanks and shifting topics will save you. Watch one of John Carmack's talks. He just stands for three hours talking. No slides, no notecards. Sure he goes over notes and ideas for what he wants to talk about beforehand, but he doesn't memorize his talk. That'd take way too long.
  - nickjj 11y ago
    Yeah, that is really important. I started creating online courses recently and while I can perform well under no pressure in the comfort of my own home while taking as many cuts as I need to get out what I want to say, I have trouble explaining things live to an audience. So far I've gone up twice in front of 70 or so people for only 60 seconds to announce my course. It's material I know very well. The first time was pretty bad. Not a total tank, but lots of fumbling around and eventually saying things in a way that wasn't very clear at all. The second time was a bit better. It had a rocky start for the first 3-4 seconds (aka. life times when you're up there) but I pulled it together and something vaguely coherent came out. I kind of just went into auto-pilot mode with confidence because it's something I wrote out like 20 different ways when I was working on my introduction video. I didn't study a script for either of them but I practiced what I wanted to say in my head while I was walking to the venue. Probably not the best plan, but I've never been strong at having to memorize long blocks of text, it's just not how my brain works. I think you do have to study hard to give a good presentation but being able to improvise is critical, especially if you plan to take questions at the end.
stordoff 11y ago
> practice out loud Oddly enough, the exact opposite works for me: don't practice at all (I suspect this won't work for most people). The clearest example I can recall is when I was at university - I had to deliver a short speech to the group (10 or so people) on a topic I knew fairly well, and prepared and basically memorised the whole thing (including practising out loud). On the day, I was a nervous, stumbling mess, and completely missed half the points I wanted to raise despite having the speech in front of me. The following week, we had a debate on a related topic, with no advance warning (format was two teams of three, each person delivering a speech similar in length to the one mention above but to expect interruptions from the other side). Despite the lack of planning and preparation, I delivered my speech near flawlessly, handled interruptions without issue, and was the most outspoken person in critiquing the oppositions' arguments (my professor took me to one side at the end of the seminar and mentioned that I performed much better off the cuff). It was really weird to see that difference, as I thought it would go just as poorly as the last time.
- meric 11y ago
  Same for me for all sorts of anxious situations like exams, speeches, even computer games. Plan meticulously. Then, moments before entering the situation, deliberately tell myself to throw everything I've prepared away and react to each moment as it comes. Play to the ground.

by maaku 11y ago

bpchaps 11y ago

I actually practice out loud, sometimes in front of a mirror just to practice my mannerisms. It doesn't tend to work very well. At the time of speaking, you just go completely blank. Preparation doesn't help when the only thing you're mentally capable of doing is being ultra-aware of every inch of your body and facial patterns. I have bipolar and social anxiety. When I'm in my "up", I can speak in front of a large crowd fairly easily and can't even come close when I'm in my down. Thing is, the two comorbids work together. If, for example, I mis-say something, my mood has a tendency to completely drop, which affects my social anxiety, which affects my mood, etc. It tends to last for about a week after that. Unfortunately, this sort of thing can't be labeled as introversion vs extroversion. The problem is very, very complex and has many facets. Giving it an introversion label doesn't do any justice to the intensity of the problem. If anything, canonicalization of this sort seems to do more damage than good, as it gives a false sense of understanding of mental health.

hayksaakian 11y ago
practice against a solid wall it helps you to hear yourself specifically, and separates your physical distractions.
maaku 11y ago
I think the mirror is the problem here. A better idea is to videotape yourself and watch it afterwards. Of course all situations are different and you are dealing with something else, but it's worth a shot.
whitegrape 11y ago
In one sense you're practicing the wrong thing. You need to practice going off from the top of your head, not practice any particular routine or speech. How long can you talk to yourself without going blank on what to say next, or getting stuck in a repetition loop? If you have this down, then you can practice speeches, but when you inevitably forget something because memory isn't perfect, your skills at improvising and filling in the blanks and shifting topics will save you. Watch one of John Carmack's talks. He just stands for three hours talking. No slides, no notecards. Sure he goes over notes and ideas for what he wants to talk about beforehand, but he doesn't memorize his talk. That'd take way too long.
- nickjj 11y ago
  Yeah, that is really important. I started creating online courses recently and while I can perform well under no pressure in the comfort of my own home while taking as many cuts as I need to get out what I want to say, I have trouble explaining things live to an audience. So far I've gone up twice in front of 70 or so people for only 60 seconds to announce my course. It's material I know very well. The first time was pretty bad. Not a total tank, but lots of fumbling around and eventually saying things in a way that wasn't very clear at all. The second time was a bit better. It had a rocky start for the first 3-4 seconds (aka. life times when you're up there) but I pulled it together and something vaguely coherent came out. I kind of just went into auto-pilot mode with confidence because it's something I wrote out like 20 different ways when I was working on my introduction video. I didn't study a script for either of them but I practiced what I wanted to say in my head while I was walking to the venue. Probably not the best plan, but I've never been strong at having to memorize long blocks of text, it's just not how my brain works. I think you do have to study hard to give a good presentation but being able to improvise is critical, especially if you plan to take questions at the end.

stordoff 11y ago

> practice out loud Oddly enough, the exact opposite works for me: don't practice at all (I suspect this won't work for most people). The clearest example I can recall is when I was at university - I had to deliver a short speech to the group (10 or so people) on a topic I knew fairly well, and prepared and basically memorised the whole thing (including practising out loud). On the day, I was a nervous, stumbling mess, and completely missed half the points I wanted to raise despite having the speech in front of me. The following week, we had a debate on a related topic, with no advance warning (format was two teams of three, each person delivering a speech similar in length to the one mention above but to expect interruptions from the other side). Despite the lack of planning and preparation, I delivered my speech near flawlessly, handled interruptions without issue, and was the most outspoken person in critiquing the oppositions' arguments (my professor took me to one side at the end of the seminar and mentioned that I performed much better off the cuff). It was really weird to see that difference, as I thought it would go just as poorly as the last time.

meric 11y ago
Same for me for all sorts of anxious situations like exams, speeches, even computer games. Plan meticulously. Then, moments before entering the situation, deliberately tell myself to throw everything I've prepared away and react to each moment as it comes. Play to the ground.