Many humans use mantras or ceremonies for their benefit in structure. My wife and I certainly do. These are key questions. What's interesting is not the ques

Many humans use mantras or ceremonies for their benefit in structure. My wife and I certainly do. These are key questions. What's interesting is not the questions, but the answers. And in listening. Listening is itself an investment. What's important to your partner? Find a way to make that important to you. I can speak those six questions in a few seconds. But I am listening to the answers, and to the associated streams of thought, attentively, for about 30 minutes. We used the six questions approach for our first seven or so years. In the last 10 years, we actually ask the questions less frequently. We are apart about 10 or 11 hours per day, 5 days a week. So we each have about 30 minutes to catch up on 10 hours. But I find the biggest value in the weekends, when we're together most of the day. In that case, I can usually predict will want to talk about. But that doesn't make it boring. That gives me an excellent chance to fine-tune my understanding of her mind and emotions. The gap between what I expect she has been thinking about and what she was actually thinking about is an excellent education. And she does the same with me. Recall the baseline assertion: my relationship with my wife is the most important thing in my life. I listen to people talk for hours at work, which is pretty important. Listening to my wife for 30 minutes is a no brainer for me.