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> "Desire is that thing that draws me out and allows others in, it's absolutely essential." That's what I meant by saying that desire can be the gateway to lov
by ZenoArrow 11y ago
> "Desire is that thing that draws me out and allows others in, it's absolutely essential."
That's what I meant by saying that desire can be the gateway to love. Desire helps you commit, love can grow from that point on.
- mercer 11y agoI see desire/infatuation as catalyst or bootstrapping mechanism for a relationship. In my experience the early stages of a relationship involve a lot of calibration: communication style, likes/dislikes, emotional landmines, lifestyle, etc. Without the strong feelings that often characterize the first period in a relationship, I or the other would probably have bailed out before even figuring out if some of these issues can be resolved. Of course, the downside is that I've found myself spending a lot of time and energy in the infatuation phase only to discover that there were fundamental incompatibilities and wondering how I could have felt so strongly about this other person in the first place. But I guess that's unavoidable.