Hello, we are the TSA. We are a massive, sprawling government bureaucracy that has never caught a single terrorist. We know airport security is a massive pain

Hello, we are the TSA. We are a massive, sprawling government bureaucracy that has never caught a single terrorist. We know airport security is a massive pain in the ass for no discernible reason and no tangible benefit to your security as a traveller. If you would only pay us a small recurring fee, we will agree to hassle you less and speed you through this line-up.