Well fortunately/unfortunately the police do not camp outside of an embassy for years waiting to arrest someone and send them to another country for questioning

Well fortunately/unfortunately the police do not camp outside of an embassy for years waiting to arrest someone and send them to another country for questioning because they may have broken a moral concept. They do that when there are laws being broken. So in this situation, all that matters is the law. The question was "what is rape in the Swedish sense, and how is it different from rape anywhere else". The answer is, this type of sexual misconduct is considered rape in Sweden and not in many other places. Nation-states define laws, which is what the legal system is based off, so it doesn't matter what moral people recognize. It wouldn't have been legally rape in some other countries, and that's the answer to the question.