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Here is my current situation. I don't know if it'll help much. I got a job about 4 years ago as a software engineer which required my wife and I to move to a n

by dayk995 11y ago

Here is my current situation. I don't know if it'll help much. I got a job about 4 years ago as a software engineer which required my wife and I to move to a new state (away from family). I actually wanted to move out of state which is why I applied for the job in the first place. We had no commitments. We lived in a small modest apartment. The first two years I received a raise and a bonus without me having to negotiate at all. Within the past two years however, we bought our first house and had our first child. I have not received a raise or bonus these past two years. Now is the time I actually need it. I fell into the trap. They were willing to pay to keep me here but now that I'm stuck here, they don't need to offer me an incentive to stay. I've lost my leverage when I bought a house and had a kid.

balls187 11y ago
Are you in a job market with a lot of alternatives? Also you're not stuck there. People with houses and kids move. It's not as easy, but you aren't exactly treading new ground.
mgadams3 11y ago
I can totally relate and it's easy to feel trapped or helpless, especially when you've got kids to provide for (I've got 2 of my own). What makes you feel like you've lost your leverage b/c of your family obligations? It seems unlikely that you have... but a deep examination of what makes you feel that way is important.
- dayk995 11y ago
  Right. It seems like we've finally settled down so starting the whole process again (interviewing, selling the house, moving, etc...) is something I'm not looking forward to. If the trend continues then it'll certainly have to be done.
  - mgadams3 11y ago
    Are you in a small enough market that moving companies without moving locations feels like your only choice? Have you concidered remote work?
zaphar 11y ago
You didn't lose your leverage. You just feel like you lost your leverage. There are people out there who will hire you remote. In our job it's perfectly feasible to work remote. And don't discount the possibility of other companies in the state as well.
elcct 11y ago
If you are good at what you are doing, make sure you have saved money for at least 3 months of living. That is your leverage back. Then ask for a raise - if they keep saying "it's not the best time for the company" and other bs, just quit. Go to a nice vacation, refresh your mind and start looking for something new. If you don't feel secure about finding a new job start looking now, before you even ask for a raise. That should make you more confident.
- sologoub 11y ago
  Why burn an income when the situation doesn't seem dire yet? Take the vacation, come back refreshed, if things are still not good enough, start looking, but keep your paycheck. Many people assume that not being local to the company is a non-starter. My experience has been that companies will make a lot of things happen for the right fit. Network, talk to people and see if you can fill the need that company has.
  - elcct 11y ago
    Of course you can do that, but in my opinion that just delays the change. If your company hesitate to give you a raise I doubt you will increase your chances by taking holidays.

by dayk995 11y ago

balls187 11y ago

Are you in a job market with a lot of alternatives? Also you're not stuck there. People with houses and kids move. It's not as easy, but you aren't exactly treading new ground.

mgadams3 11y ago

I can totally relate and it's easy to feel trapped or helpless, especially when you've got kids to provide for (I've got 2 of my own). What makes you feel like you've lost your leverage b/c of your family obligations? It seems unlikely that you have... but a deep examination of what makes you feel that way is important.

dayk995 11y ago
Right. It seems like we've finally settled down so starting the whole process again (interviewing, selling the house, moving, etc...) is something I'm not looking forward to. If the trend continues then it'll certainly have to be done.
- mgadams3 11y ago
  Are you in a small enough market that moving companies without moving locations feels like your only choice? Have you concidered remote work?

zaphar 11y ago

You didn't lose your leverage. You just feel like you lost your leverage. There are people out there who will hire you remote. In our job it's perfectly feasible to work remote. And don't discount the possibility of other companies in the state as well.

elcct 11y ago

If you are good at what you are doing, make sure you have saved money for at least 3 months of living. That is your leverage back. Then ask for a raise - if they keep saying "it's not the best time for the company" and other bs, just quit. Go to a nice vacation, refresh your mind and start looking for something new. If you don't feel secure about finding a new job start looking now, before you even ask for a raise. That should make you more confident.

sologoub 11y ago
Why burn an income when the situation doesn't seem dire yet? Take the vacation, come back refreshed, if things are still not good enough, start looking, but keep your paycheck. Many people assume that not being local to the company is a non-starter. My experience has been that companies will make a lot of things happen for the right fit. Network, talk to people and see if you can fill the need that company has.
- elcct 11y ago
  Of course you can do that, but in my opinion that just delays the change. If your company hesitate to give you a raise I doubt you will increase your chances by taking holidays.