I started to get nervous. I liked my brain the way it was. I mean, there were some pretty big issues there... but I didn’t want a new one. I had no interest, fo

I started to get nervous. I liked my brain the way it was. I mean, there were some pretty big issues there... but I didn’t want a new one. I had no interest, for example, in leaving my wife. A friend had told me a story about a couple who’d done ayahuasca and had an epiphany that they should get divorced, then took a second dose the same weekend and had an epiphany that they should stay together. What if they’d stopped after the first trip? I find myself having similar thoughts whenever I talk or think about having similar experiences. I've had small doses of mushrooms and LCD before which were a combination of good and ok experiences. DMT terrifies me for the reasons above. I like how I'm wired for the most part. I also know that I can have (and have had) some very bad experiences, even just with weed. I had a close friend that experimented with a few things I'd like to not say, and it changed his life profoundly for a long time, and still impacts him today 3 or 4 years later. The changes, for the most part, were mostly not good (from my perspective). I would say that he "lost his mind" for at least a couple of months. But he also made some changes that were absolutely positive. I'd like to see what all the fuss is about. But do I need to? Will life as I know it survive? For the moment I'm not seeking this experience out. I feel like if it comes to me in the right setting I'll likely participate, but until then, I'll sit on the sidelines and hope for the research (and laws) to improve.