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So many questions. What's a sugar baby? What's a trophy wife? Are these terms sexist? If I date someone with student loans then am I a sugar daddy? Some of

So many questions. What's a sugar baby? What's a trophy wife? Are these terms sexist? If I date someone with student loans then am I a sugar daddy? Some of my friends have wives who stay at home but don't have children. How do you define those relationships? Do all cultures fetishize the young? SeekingArrangements is in UK and Singapore too.

sugarthrowaway 11y ago
>What's a sugar baby? Someone financially supported by a sugar daddy/mommy in exchange for a sexual relationship. >What's a trophy wife? A much younger woman married for looks usually after divorcing one's first wife. >Are these terms sexist? Probably not helpful to label the terms sexist (given that they describe real phenomena) but the mentality that seeks out those relationships might be. >If I date someone with student loans then am I a sugar daddy? If you cover/displace significantly more of their finances than in a typical dating relationship without reciprocation, yes. >Some of my friends have wives who stay at home but don't have children. How do you define those relationships? Childless marriages, distinguished from sugar daddy relationship by the expectation of permanence and more complex mutual obligations. >Do all cultures fetishize the young? SeekingArrangements is in UK and Singapore too. Young women, yes, for fundamental biological reasons.
GFK_of_xmaspast 11y ago
Have you seriously not heard the terms "sugar baby/daddy" and "trophy wife" before? They're not exactly new. Here's a google ngrams: http://tinyurl.com/zyohtp3 http://tinyurl.com/zyohtp3
- kelukelugames 11y ago
  I don't know when to apply these terms. Most of my male friends have younger partners and make at least twice as much them. It happens when a software programmer dates outside of tech. EDIT: wow! Trophy wives took off in 1990.
  - oldmanjay 11y ago
    Both terms are much older than the 90s.
drostie 11y ago
Well the phrase "trophy wife" doesn't exist on this web page and I would say that the expression itself is not sexist (because you could also have a "trophy husband" and everyone would understand what it means), but of course the practice's prevalence suggests a cultural sexism where the expression doesn't. The term "sugar baby" comes idiomatically from the opposite of the terms "sugar daddy, sugar mama" as the person who is the target of the affections of the latter. Obviously, "sugar baby" is not a sexist expression because it is not gendered. As for what it means, to be clear: Alice is Bob's sugar-baby (conversely, Bob is Alice's sugar-daddy) if Bob is an affluent older person who is both dating the younger Alice and is gifting her with financially-expensive gifts. The gifts could be as immaterial as "I have this car I never drive, you can use it as if it were your own" or as material as "I will pay off your student loan debts." Usually, if Alice has her own professional career and is providing well for herself, then we'd not call it a sugar-baby relationship even if the gifts are expensive and one-way. Furthermore if she is taking care of the household and/or kids, that would tend to mollify the judgment. The essence of the judgment is the belief that if the sugar-parent were not providing the gifts to the sugar-baby then the relationship would not persist; the very terms themselves suggest that the relationship is too uncomfortably invoking a parent-child dynamic in a romantic context. A stay-at-home wife is generally not a "sugar baby" since they are married and not dating; you could potentially extend the term to cover married couples but even so, if there are no expensive gifts or they're of comparable ages you wouldn't normally say that he's her sugar-daddy.
- kelukelugames 11y ago
  Thank you for the detailed response. I feel most relationships have a large income disparity between the partners and would cease to exist otherwise. For example, if one childless partner stays at home then the other has to make enough for both. Does American society count housing and food as expensive gifts?

sugarthrowaway 11y ago

>What's a sugar baby? Someone financially supported by a sugar daddy/mommy in exchange for a sexual relationship. >What's a trophy wife? A much younger woman married for looks usually after divorcing one's first wife. >Are these terms sexist? Probably not helpful to label the terms sexist (given that they describe real phenomena) but the mentality that seeks out those relationships might be. >If I date someone with student loans then am I a sugar daddy? If you cover/displace significantly more of their finances than in a typical dating relationship without reciprocation, yes. >Some of my friends have wives who stay at home but don't have children. How do you define those relationships? Childless marriages, distinguished from sugar daddy relationship by the expectation of permanence and more complex mutual obligations. >Do all cultures fetishize the young? SeekingArrangements is in UK and Singapore too. Young women, yes, for fundamental biological reasons.

GFK_of_xmaspast 11y ago

Have you seriously not heard the terms "sugar baby/daddy" and "trophy wife" before? They're not exactly new. Here's a google ngrams: http://tinyurl.com/zyohtp3 http://tinyurl.com/zyohtp3

kelukelugames 11y ago
I don't know when to apply these terms. Most of my male friends have younger partners and make at least twice as much them. It happens when a software programmer dates outside of tech. EDIT: wow! Trophy wives took off in 1990.
- oldmanjay 11y ago
  Both terms are much older than the 90s.

drostie 11y ago

Well the phrase "trophy wife" doesn't exist on this web page and I would say that the expression itself is not sexist (because you could also have a "trophy husband" and everyone would understand what it means), but of course the practice's prevalence suggests a cultural sexism where the expression doesn't. The term "sugar baby" comes idiomatically from the opposite of the terms "sugar daddy, sugar mama" as the person who is the target of the affections of the latter. Obviously, "sugar baby" is not a sexist expression because it is not gendered. As for what it means, to be clear: Alice is Bob's sugar-baby (conversely, Bob is Alice's sugar-daddy) if Bob is an affluent older person who is both dating the younger Alice and is gifting her with financially-expensive gifts. The gifts could be as immaterial as "I have this car I never drive, you can use it as if it were your own" or as material as "I will pay off your student loan debts." Usually, if Alice has her own professional career and is providing well for herself, then we'd not call it a sugar-baby relationship even if the gifts are expensive and one-way. Furthermore if she is taking care of the household and/or kids, that would tend to mollify the judgment. The essence of the judgment is the belief that if the sugar-parent were not providing the gifts to the sugar-baby then the relationship would not persist; the very terms themselves suggest that the relationship is too uncomfortably invoking a parent-child dynamic in a romantic context. A stay-at-home wife is generally not a "sugar baby" since they are married and not dating; you could potentially extend the term to cover married couples but even so, if there are no expensive gifts or they're of comparable ages you wouldn't normally say that he's her sugar-daddy.

kelukelugames 11y ago
Thank you for the detailed response. I feel most relationships have a large income disparity between the partners and would cease to exist otherwise. For example, if one childless partner stays at home then the other has to make enough for both. Does American society count housing and food as expensive gifts?