4 ms·

Regarding your point about being "generally pretty fun to be around", does it come naturally or has it been a conscious effort? I'm still in college and have be

by evgg 11y ago

Regarding your point about being "generally pretty fun to be around", does it come naturally or has it been a conscious effort? I'm still in college and have been slowly realizing the deep importance of this quality (or maybe skill?). Having met quite a few people who are, as you described, generally fun to be around, I also realized that unfortunately I'm not one of those people. Do you have any advice on getting better at that?

manyxcxi 11y ago
I'm definitely outgoing- I have no problem making myself the butt of a joke to get the laugh, but at the same time I'm not so outgoing that I'm one of those guys who could go on a trip by himself and make five new best friends. Nor would I just go to an event and meet like 10 people and go to dinner with them that night. I'd consider myself normal outgoing and I think, at least in a work environment, it is my self confidence that alows this. I know my input won't always be right, but it will be way more often than not- even then it will probably still have value. So I throw out my ideas in meetings where it's appropriate. I iterate on others ideas with them, that type of thing. I would ask those around me what they thought of an approach- not because I was worried mine was wrong, because maybe they'd have a fresh take and could help tweak it for the better. This warms them up to collaborate. They will likely start doing the same to you, then you'll both come to a mutual respect for where each other's strengths and weaknesses may lie, but you've formed a bond of comraderie that should keep you well regarded. It's important that most of the time when you're asking for input that you've got the problem nearly licked- no one wants to work with the guy always asking how to do his job. Those are the main ways I've built strong relationships in the office. I say hi to people as I pass buy, grab the odd coffee with whoever, and chat about sports (I happen to root for all of the rival teams up here, so that breeds a lot of conversation). That's it- my secret is that I just behave like an okay guy most of the time and I don't stay silent and keep my eyes to the floor.

by evgg 11y ago

manyxcxi 11y ago

I'm definitely outgoing- I have no problem making myself the butt of a joke to get the laugh, but at the same time I'm not so outgoing that I'm one of those guys who could go on a trip by himself and make five new best friends. Nor would I just go to an event and meet like 10 people and go to dinner with them that night. I'd consider myself normal outgoing and I think, at least in a work environment, it is my self confidence that alows this. I know my input won't always be right, but it will be way more often than not- even then it will probably still have value. So I throw out my ideas in meetings where it's appropriate. I iterate on others ideas with them, that type of thing. I would ask those around me what they thought of an approach- not because I was worried mine was wrong, because maybe they'd have a fresh take and could help tweak it for the better. This warms them up to collaborate. They will likely start doing the same to you, then you'll both come to a mutual respect for where each other's strengths and weaknesses may lie, but you've formed a bond of comraderie that should keep you well regarded. It's important that most of the time when you're asking for input that you've got the problem nearly licked- no one wants to work with the guy always asking how to do his job. Those are the main ways I've built strong relationships in the office. I say hi to people as I pass buy, grab the odd coffee with whoever, and chat about sports (I happen to root for all of the rival teams up here, so that breeds a lot of conversation). That's it- my secret is that I just behave like an okay guy most of the time and I don't stay silent and keep my eyes to the floor.