4 ms·

My ~2 years old son was diagnosed with autism last October. Looks like it is on the good side of the spectrum, but it almost ruined my marriage - my wife didn't

My ~2 years old son was diagnosed with autism last October. Looks like it is on the good side of the spectrum, but it almost ruined my marriage - my wife didn't take it well, and we probably lost precious months arguing about his symptoms. The earlier you are diagnosed the better, so if you are suspicious, just go see a good specialist. Your family may try to talk you down: "he is just very introvert". Go se an expert neurologist anyway. In my personal experience neurologists are better at this than psychiatrists. Most shrinks asked to see me and my wife alone on the first session, these are the wrong doctors: do not waste time with anyone that refuses to see the child on the first session. Do not waste time with anyone that is not specialized in autism. Specialists may be expensive but they are worth.

hoopism 11y ago
"The earlier you are diagnosed the better, so if you are suspicious, just go see a good specialist. Your family may try to talk you down: "he is just very introvert". Go se an expert neurologist anyway." This. For ANY parent that suspects their child may have a learning disability or developmental delay RUN to get assistance. Many states offer early intervention to help with speech and motor delays. My daughter got into EI around 12 months old and was diagnosed with ASD at 16 months. A diagnosis unlocks therapy and therapy (ABA anyway) is largely a play based program that helps your child build skills by breaking them down into much more fundamental blocks. Speech therapy has unlocked a tremendous amount in terms of her ability to interact and communicate. A diagnosis is just a key... maybe it's wrong... maybe they will outgrow it... it doesn't matter. A diagnosis doesn't mean your child will be subject to dangerous medication or institutionalization... it just means they will get help. It kills me to see parents reluctant to get help due to stigma or refusal to acknowledge their child is struggling. There's no shame in giving your child every advantage possible.
- rprospero 11y ago
  Just last month, at the age of thirty-three, I was officially diagnosed as autistic by the NHS. Could some things in my life have been easier if I had been diagnosed earlier? Certainly. On the other hand, out of all the diagnoses to have missed, autism was a lucky break. It's not degenerative. I didn't get more autistic from thirty years of not taking my autism meds. I was never in any danger of dying of autism. I'm not saying that hoopism did anything wrong. That is one very lucky daughter to have such an involved patent. I'm merely saying that you're not going to ruin your child's life if you don't catch it right away. It seems like parents are under a lot of pressure and I just wanted to say, as someone who has been on the other side of it, that your kids aren't going to hate you if you accidentally miss this one.
  - hoopism 11y ago
    Thanks for the comment and I hope with your diagnosis comes some comfort (I am also 33). There's a saying that I think is worth repeating here: "If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism". Really is hard to generalize in this population. My statement is really geared toward the parents who suspect something but are either scared or waiting for things to change on their own. I just want them to know that it's not a huge burden to go speak with a professional and it may make a big impact. I didn't mean for it to sound as if not doing so would condemn you child... I just mean that it's a small investment (getting checked) with a potentially big payoff (early therapy).
  - scardine 11y ago
    > Just last month, at the age of thirty-three, I was officially diagnosed as autistic by the NHS. Could some things in my life have been easier if I had been diagnosed earlier? Certainly. I'm glad your case is in the good side of the spectrum. > On the other hand, out of all the diagnoses to have missed, autism was a lucky break. It's not degenerative. Lucky you, but autism IS degenerative in many cases, early intervention is the best shot for those kids. > I didn't get more autistic from thirty years of not taking my autism meds. THERE ARE NO AUTISM MEDS AND SHOULD KNOW. > I was never in any danger of dying of autism. This. You don't die of autism, right. So you will have normal life expectancy, 70, 80 years. If you have a non-functional form of ASD, you will be a dead-weight for society for the rest of your life. > I'm not saying that hoopism did anything wrong. That is one very lucky daughter to have such an involved patent. I'm merely saying that you're not going to ruin your child's life if you don't catch it right away. It seems like parents are under a lot of pressure and I just wanted to say, as someone who has been on the other side of it, that your kids aren't going to hate you if you accidentally miss this one. I'm not afraid that my son will hate me, I'm afraid he wont be able to take care of himself and I will hate myself for not being here forever to take care of him. Am I under a lot of pressure? YOU BET. * please don't talk about this until you have kids of your own. You can't possibly know. * please never say anything to stop a parent from looking for early intervention just because you did very well without it. * a lot of people bullshit about being in the spectrum, please never do this.
- sundvor 11y ago
  Early diagnosis and intervention is massively important and yet for a parent of a diagnosed highly functioning ASD child (formerly known as Aspergers), it is one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced. Our child was diagnosed at 3; it took the experts a while to conclude, in the end they needed to see him in the proper environments, with other children. Poor social skills was one of the give aways, yet it wasn't all. Wanting to give our child every opportunity we did go for what we could do at great personal / financial cost, our health insurance in Australia covered next to nothing. Why ABA isn't covered beats me, if your house burns down your house insurance will cover it, yet if your child has autism .. with economical impact approaching the same, yet you sit there with no bloody cover. There's just so much, too much to write about in a single post. The comments from other people, even other family members: All children all difficult, he looks perfectly normal to me. (They have no fracking idea). The looks you get when you can't control his tantrums ... fortunately for us, this doesn't happen all too often out in the public, for some reason it's mostly at home. The sheer exhaustiveness of dealing with it all, whilst trying to hold down a job, stay sharp and current with the latest in programming developments. The sadness of not daring to give your only son a sibling, because it could also be on the spectrum and it might simply be too much. Besides, with savings gone... The hard toll it has taken on your marriage.. Yet you persist and it's all worth it. I can't know if it was worth burning our savings, but it does seem so. We will never know, we only have one shot at this. A couple of key points: If you've seen one person with autism you've seen one child with autism. Each case is different. Please do not make assumptions about the next. Someone wrote you can't die from autism. Suicide rates beg to differ; extremely strong correlations to depression and other mental illness. Early diagnosis and intervention are indeed critical; starting school this year, we now have full engagement of the school who are professionally prepared to deal with the traits of autism. This is going to make a world of difference. I wish the people here in the same boat the very best of luck. Stay strong.
pmelendez 11y ago
>In my personal experience neurologists are better at this than psychiatrists. In my experience, actually psychologists have better understanding of the needs of an individual in the ADS.
- scardine 11y ago
  I agree, specialized psychologists are best for ABA and other therapies, but I maintain neurologists are better for diagnosis. There are quite a few diseases that have the same symptoms, like epilepsy or fragile X syndrome - and those may be degenerative. A neurologist is the best professional to make a diagnosis of exclusion.
notme2015 11y ago
You might want research chelation and heavy metal detoxification. Mercury was known to cause mental illness since 500 B.C. [1][2][3] It's an electrical conductor and a radio conductor (heavy metal), some people say its a superconductor. Mercury given to people since 1920, it discovered in 1930 the brain works via electricity[4], it could cause a classical electrical short circuit of the brain: http://imgur.com/vvh7AoP http://imgur.com/vvh7AoP I can roughly describe a possibility of what it would look like to a patient. If you think of when you use your brain to "grab" your toes and make them move, possibly instead of seeing light and toes, you might see grey metallic sludge dripping down the "screen" (screen is the vision). perhaps his brain "grabbed" the mercury instead of the nerves. (because of shortcircuit?). Something like this pic, but more contrast white and black hotspots and silver: https://webdesign.org/img_articles/10450/_metalfinishu.jpg https://webdesign.org/img_articles/10450/_metalfinishu.jpg (Maybe you can simply ask him if he sees that) [1] 500 BC: Dartmouth.edu http://www.dartmouth.edu/~toxmetal/mercury/history.html http://www.dartmouth.edu/~toxmetal/mercury/history.html [2] 1800: London Wikipedia: Mad as a hatter disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_as_a_hatter https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_as_a_hatter [3] 1908: Japan Wikipedia: Minimata Disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minamata_diseaser https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minamata_diseaser [4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axon https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axon The rest of my mercury research is @ https://voat.co/v/politics/comments/171588 https://voat.co/v/politics/comments/171588 Theres some more data @ https://medium.com/@bananaguy80/the-great-filter-theory-are-we-a-filter-f73a2f1e933f https://medium.com/@bananaguy80/the-great-filter-theory-are-... Best of luck to you.

hoopism 11y ago

"The earlier you are diagnosed the better, so if you are suspicious, just go see a good specialist. Your family may try to talk you down: "he is just very introvert". Go se an expert neurologist anyway." This. For ANY parent that suspects their child may have a learning disability or developmental delay RUN to get assistance. Many states offer early intervention to help with speech and motor delays. My daughter got into EI around 12 months old and was diagnosed with ASD at 16 months. A diagnosis unlocks therapy and therapy (ABA anyway) is largely a play based program that helps your child build skills by breaking them down into much more fundamental blocks. Speech therapy has unlocked a tremendous amount in terms of her ability to interact and communicate. A diagnosis is just a key... maybe it's wrong... maybe they will outgrow it... it doesn't matter. A diagnosis doesn't mean your child will be subject to dangerous medication or institutionalization... it just means they will get help. It kills me to see parents reluctant to get help due to stigma or refusal to acknowledge their child is struggling. There's no shame in giving your child every advantage possible.

rprospero 11y ago
Just last month, at the age of thirty-three, I was officially diagnosed as autistic by the NHS. Could some things in my life have been easier if I had been diagnosed earlier? Certainly. On the other hand, out of all the diagnoses to have missed, autism was a lucky break. It's not degenerative. I didn't get more autistic from thirty years of not taking my autism meds. I was never in any danger of dying of autism. I'm not saying that hoopism did anything wrong. That is one very lucky daughter to have such an involved patent. I'm merely saying that you're not going to ruin your child's life if you don't catch it right away. It seems like parents are under a lot of pressure and I just wanted to say, as someone who has been on the other side of it, that your kids aren't going to hate you if you accidentally miss this one.
- hoopism 11y ago
  Thanks for the comment and I hope with your diagnosis comes some comfort (I am also 33). There's a saying that I think is worth repeating here: "If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism". Really is hard to generalize in this population. My statement is really geared toward the parents who suspect something but are either scared or waiting for things to change on their own. I just want them to know that it's not a huge burden to go speak with a professional and it may make a big impact. I didn't mean for it to sound as if not doing so would condemn you child... I just mean that it's a small investment (getting checked) with a potentially big payoff (early therapy).
- scardine 11y ago
  > Just last month, at the age of thirty-three, I was officially diagnosed as autistic by the NHS. Could some things in my life have been easier if I had been diagnosed earlier? Certainly. I'm glad your case is in the good side of the spectrum. > On the other hand, out of all the diagnoses to have missed, autism was a lucky break. It's not degenerative. Lucky you, but autism IS degenerative in many cases, early intervention is the best shot for those kids. > I didn't get more autistic from thirty years of not taking my autism meds. THERE ARE NO AUTISM MEDS AND SHOULD KNOW. > I was never in any danger of dying of autism. This. You don't die of autism, right. So you will have normal life expectancy, 70, 80 years. If you have a non-functional form of ASD, you will be a dead-weight for society for the rest of your life. > I'm not saying that hoopism did anything wrong. That is one very lucky daughter to have such an involved patent. I'm merely saying that you're not going to ruin your child's life if you don't catch it right away. It seems like parents are under a lot of pressure and I just wanted to say, as someone who has been on the other side of it, that your kids aren't going to hate you if you accidentally miss this one. I'm not afraid that my son will hate me, I'm afraid he wont be able to take care of himself and I will hate myself for not being here forever to take care of him. Am I under a lot of pressure? YOU BET. * please don't talk about this until you have kids of your own. You can't possibly know. * please never say anything to stop a parent from looking for early intervention just because you did very well without it. * a lot of people bullshit about being in the spectrum, please never do this.
sundvor 11y ago
Early diagnosis and intervention is massively important and yet for a parent of a diagnosed highly functioning ASD child (formerly known as Aspergers), it is one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced. Our child was diagnosed at 3; it took the experts a while to conclude, in the end they needed to see him in the proper environments, with other children. Poor social skills was one of the give aways, yet it wasn't all. Wanting to give our child every opportunity we did go for what we could do at great personal / financial cost, our health insurance in Australia covered next to nothing. Why ABA isn't covered beats me, if your house burns down your house insurance will cover it, yet if your child has autism .. with economical impact approaching the same, yet you sit there with no bloody cover. There's just so much, too much to write about in a single post. The comments from other people, even other family members: All children all difficult, he looks perfectly normal to me. (They have no fracking idea). The looks you get when you can't control his tantrums ... fortunately for us, this doesn't happen all too often out in the public, for some reason it's mostly at home. The sheer exhaustiveness of dealing with it all, whilst trying to hold down a job, stay sharp and current with the latest in programming developments. The sadness of not daring to give your only son a sibling, because it could also be on the spectrum and it might simply be too much. Besides, with savings gone... The hard toll it has taken on your marriage.. Yet you persist and it's all worth it. I can't know if it was worth burning our savings, but it does seem so. We will never know, we only have one shot at this. A couple of key points: If you've seen one person with autism you've seen one child with autism. Each case is different. Please do not make assumptions about the next. Someone wrote you can't die from autism. Suicide rates beg to differ; extremely strong correlations to depression and other mental illness. Early diagnosis and intervention are indeed critical; starting school this year, we now have full engagement of the school who are professionally prepared to deal with the traits of autism. This is going to make a world of difference. I wish the people here in the same boat the very best of luck. Stay strong.

pmelendez 11y ago

>In my personal experience neurologists are better at this than psychiatrists. In my experience, actually psychologists have better understanding of the needs of an individual in the ADS.

scardine 11y ago
I agree, specialized psychologists are best for ABA and other therapies, but I maintain neurologists are better for diagnosis. There are quite a few diseases that have the same symptoms, like epilepsy or fragile X syndrome - and those may be degenerative. A neurologist is the best professional to make a diagnosis of exclusion.

notme2015 11y ago

You might want research chelation and heavy metal detoxification. Mercury was known to cause mental illness since 500 B.C. [1][2][3] It's an electrical conductor and a radio conductor (heavy metal), some people say its a superconductor. Mercury given to people since 1920, it discovered in 1930 the brain works via electricity[4], it could cause a classical electrical short circuit of the brain: http://imgur.com/vvh7AoP http://imgur.com/vvh7AoP I can roughly describe a possibility of what it would look like to a patient. If you think of when you use your brain to "grab" your toes and make them move, possibly instead of seeing light and toes, you might see grey metallic sludge dripping down the "screen" (screen is the vision). perhaps his brain "grabbed" the mercury instead of the nerves. (because of shortcircuit?). Something like this pic, but more contrast white and black hotspots and silver: https://webdesign.org/img_articles/10450/_metalfinishu.jpg https://webdesign.org/img_articles/10450/_metalfinishu.jpg (Maybe you can simply ask him if he sees that) [1] 500 BC: Dartmouth.edu http://www.dartmouth.edu/~toxmetal/mercury/history.html http://www.dartmouth.edu/~toxmetal/mercury/history.html [2] 1800: London Wikipedia: Mad as a hatter disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_as_a_hatter https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_as_a_hatter [3] 1908: Japan Wikipedia: Minimata Disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minamata_diseaser https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minamata_diseaser [4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axon https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axon The rest of my mercury research is @ https://voat.co/v/politics/comments/171588 https://voat.co/v/politics/comments/171588 Theres some more data @ https://medium.com/@bananaguy80/the-great-filter-theory-are-we-a-filter-f73a2f1e933f https://medium.com/@bananaguy80/the-great-filter-theory-are-... Best of luck to you.