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I really like your point about pubs. Your point about mass immigration is good too, though I think it omits the impact that automation and outsourcing have alre
by irremediable 11y ago
I really like your point about pubs. Your point about mass immigration is good too, though I think it omits the impact that automation and outsourcing have already had on employment.
Not so sure about your view on marriage, though. Are you saying your son shouldn't marry because, if he finds a girlfriend and has children, marriage would disadvantage him should they ever divorce?
- Wildgoose 11y agoI've been happily married for 22 years but I guess I've been lucky. It's certainly the ideal, which is why I want it for my daughters. However I could also tell horror stories about male friends who married, divorced, and subsequently lost most of their property whilst simultaneously having to fight just to get access to their children. Difficult when you've lost your house and most (or all) of your savings. If you are married you seem to lose all your rights in the event of a break-up. Stay single and although you have to pay financial support, you will at least keep your house and belongings. One of my friends had had to put up with a concerted campaign of abuse by his ex-wife. She got him arrested and held over night on false allegations, and whilst he was being held emptied his bank accounts, stripped his home of all movable possessions and even telephoned where we work making all kinds of untrue allegations in an attempt to get him sacked. It gets worse, but I think you get the picture.
- irremediable 11y agoI... don't know. I think visitation rights are genuinely an area where men have it worse. That said, I know plenty of women who didn't do well out of divorce. My mother was divorced for much of my childhood, and so were many of her friends. Several of the ex-husbands fiddled their income such that they paid minimal support while having enough money to go gallivanting around the world. Thanks for sharing, in any case. It's all food for thought -- and clearly, something needs to be done about visitation rights.
- Wildgoose 11y agoYes, it's a complex and mixed picture on both sides. I think one of the reasons I have a successful marriage is that when we first got together we had absolutely nothing and were just struggling to survive. Everything we achieved has been an improvement that we have done together. Too many people nowadays seem to expect perfection from Day One and when that doesn't happen they take the easy way out by walking away. I find it interesting that there is a negative correlation between having a honeymoon and having a successful marriage. People get married with an enormous party and then go on the holiday of a lifetime. They come back and it's all downhill from that point. By contrast we had a 2-day coach mini-break to Scotland. I was Best Man (and my wife Matron of Honour) for our closest friends. Their honeymoon was three nights in a tent on the East Coast (of England). Another friend went into debt having a massive holiday in the Maldives, (against my advice - I was his Best Man also). He is now divorced. Compare and contrast.