As someone who works with youth, everything can backfire depending on you kid, circumstance, tone, and so on. This is one of those sometimes inscrutable skills

As someone who works with youth, everything can backfire depending on you kid, circumstance, tone, and so on. This is one of those sometimes inscrutable skills that parents/youth workers develop over time. I wish we had a better way to teach these soft 'people skills' as so many have no idea the effects they can/do have on those around them. Saying the right thing, at the right time, can have an amazing effect on a kid. OTOH, it's so frustrating and sad to see that some insidious/self-destructive idea has been beaten into a kid's head. Hard to break those things, particularly when they become self-reinforcing (e.g. dad calls me an idiot > I do poorly in class > I must be an idiot > I do even worse in class ...)