I'm just going to have to call out the elephant in the room. If your team members think you are a jerk, it is just possible it's because you are a jerk. It mi

I'm just going to have to call out the elephant in the room. If your team members think you are a jerk, it is just possible it's because you are a jerk. It might have absolutely nothing to do with what you are expecting them to achieve. This is slightly embarrassing to talk about, but when I was younger I was not actually hugely popular with the opposite sex. I always prided myself on being a "nice guy" and I was incredulous as girls went out with "jerks", ignoring me. I convinced myself it was because I wasn't good looking enough, so I got into body building and got into great shape. Strangely this did not help. I won't bore you with the details of my self-discovery, but eventually I did figure out the reason for my lack of popularity: I was self absorbed, arrogant, oblivious to the needs of others, etc, etc, etc. From the perspective of others, I was the jerk. My evaluation of the "jerks" was based on my set of values, which other people did not share. I eventually discovered that I needed to understand what other people valued and give it to them (if I wanted to be a "nice guy"). It's hard to know exactly what problems you are running into without meeting you. It is very common, however, to have the same kind of problem that I had -- you are judging everything through your own criteria and ignoring the criteria of others. Rather than trying to further your own goals, forcing others to fit your mould, you may have to spend considerable effort trying to understand what your team mates value and try to help them achieve it. The tricky bit is that sometimes what your team mates want appears to be at odds with what the company needs. Often you will have to make the hard choice -- do I help someone get what they want individually, or do I help the team achieve the goals as stated by the company? To make it even worse, very often your idea of how to achieve the company's goals may be incorrect. My experience is that at 7 years of experience you are just starting to discover ways that will work, but there is still quite a lot to learn. You are likely to make many mistakes along the way. You can imagine that if you chose to help the company against the desires of your team mates, if you fail (in their eyes) they will be extremely upset with you. One last piece of advice. There is nothing wrong with choosing the side of team success, even at the cost of pissing off your team mates. The personal cost can be high, though -- especially if you make mistakes (as you undoubtedly will). I would favour a mixed approach where you help your team mates meet their own personal goals and only stray from that path when you are absolutely sure that you will be successful. YMMV.