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OK it sounds like you are actually of the belief that spanking should be rare, rather than never. In this I agree, but I do think from personal experience that

OK it sounds like you are actually of the belief that spanking should be rare, rather than never. In this I agree, but I do think from personal experience that spanking is a useful "thermonuclear" option to stop dangerous behaviour in young children. To give you an example, I once caught one of my children at the age of two inserting objects into electrical power points. I gave him a good spank on the bottom and he never did it again. It is possible that another solution would have worked, but when you are dealing with a two year old playing with electricity do you really want to take the chance with another options? If spanking is rare children quickly learn that to get a spank means they have crossed a no-go threshold. My limited personal experience of the results of disincline (of all kinds) is that inconsistent or random discipline from a parent is worse than almost all others. Children who live in fear of being disciplined for what appears to them to be for no reason, or where their actual behaviour plays very little role in affecting the discipline they experience, fair far worse. It is really hard as a parent, but being consistent is critically important. No means no.

zappo2938 11y ago
I strongly agree with this author: Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now To Stop Hitting Our Children[1] > Spanking remains a common, if controversial, childrearing practice in the United States. In this article, I pair mounting research indicating that spanking is both ineffective and harmful with professional and human rights opinions disavowing the practice. I conclude that spanking is a form of violence against children that should no longer be a part of American childrearing. My stance is consistent with the recommendations of the American Psychological Association [2] and the American Academy of Pediatrics [3]. The issue is can we have a discussion about it without unfriending each other on Facebook building protective bubbles. [1]http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/ [2]http://www.apa.org/about/policy/corporal-punishment.aspx http://www.apa.org/about/policy/corporal-punishment.aspx [3]https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Where-We-Stand-Spanking.aspx https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-d...
- danieltillett 11y ago
  Yes this is one of the reasons I spend far more time on HN than Facebook.
DanBC 11y ago
You subjected your child to violence because you failed in your duty to keep him safe?
- TeMPOraL 11y ago
  When you put it that way, it does sound wrong.
- danieltillett 11y ago
  Do you have children Dan? In this case I think I would have failed if I had not spanked my son. The reason why spanking is so effective is it ties the action and punishment very close together. Children get pretty used to you yelling at them to stop doing something they want to do, so when they do something really dangerous you need to have someway of getting across to them that whatever they have done should never be done again. Spanking is a tool that should be rarely used, but I have no issue with being used in the appropriate situation.
  - DanBC 11y ago
    I do have children. I don't hit them when I've been inattentive in dangerous situations.
    - danieltillett 11y ago
      I don’t hit my children either - I used to smack them on rare occasions which is very different. In regards a child playing with a power point this is not a case of being inattentive - you cannot watch what a child does every second of the day inside your own home. It is probably worse for a child to be watched every second of their life than for them to have some freedom and the occasional smack. Can I ask if your children were placed in child care when they were young?
- dang 11y ago
  > You subjected your child to violence because you failed in your duty to keep him safe? Good grief. Come on Dan, you know that comments like this are not allowed here, whether you agree with someone's parenting practices or not.

zappo2938 11y ago

I strongly agree with this author: Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now To Stop Hitting Our Children[1] > Spanking remains a common, if controversial, childrearing practice in the United States. In this article, I pair mounting research indicating that spanking is both ineffective and harmful with professional and human rights opinions disavowing the practice. I conclude that spanking is a form of violence against children that should no longer be a part of American childrearing. My stance is consistent with the recommendations of the American Psychological Association [2] and the American Academy of Pediatrics [3]. The issue is can we have a discussion about it without unfriending each other on Facebook building protective bubbles. [1]http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/ [2]http://www.apa.org/about/policy/corporal-punishment.aspx http://www.apa.org/about/policy/corporal-punishment.aspx [3]https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Where-We-Stand-Spanking.aspx https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-d...

danieltillett 11y ago
Yes this is one of the reasons I spend far more time on HN than Facebook.

DanBC 11y ago

You subjected your child to violence because you failed in your duty to keep him safe?

TeMPOraL 11y ago
When you put it that way, it does sound wrong.
danieltillett 11y ago
Do you have children Dan? In this case I think I would have failed if I had not spanked my son. The reason why spanking is so effective is it ties the action and punishment very close together. Children get pretty used to you yelling at them to stop doing something they want to do, so when they do something really dangerous you need to have someway of getting across to them that whatever they have done should never be done again. Spanking is a tool that should be rarely used, but I have no issue with being used in the appropriate situation.
- DanBC 11y ago
  I do have children. I don't hit them when I've been inattentive in dangerous situations.
  - danieltillett 11y ago
    I don’t hit my children either - I used to smack them on rare occasions which is very different. In regards a child playing with a power point this is not a case of being inattentive - you cannot watch what a child does every second of the day inside your own home. It is probably worse for a child to be watched every second of their life than for them to have some freedom and the occasional smack. Can I ask if your children were placed in child care when they were young?
dang 11y ago
> You subjected your child to violence because you failed in your duty to keep him safe? Good grief. Come on Dan, you know that comments like this are not allowed here, whether you agree with someone's parenting practices or not.