What happened to you, is the collision of your idealism (as expressed mainly through software) with "the real world" (that one project that SUCKED). It happene

What happened to you, is the collision of your idealism (as expressed mainly through software) with "the real world" (that one project that SUCKED). It happened to me as a musician. It happens to everyone, maybe. The world bitch-slaps you and you survive it and that's one less thing that can bother you. You are now, arguably, a man, or at least you could evolve into one, depending on how you process and work through this. You are in a grief process. What died, is your idea of the world as a continuously improving place where things are done right and for the right reasons. (You found out it is a huge clusterfuck full of mediocrity.) What you need to remember though, is that your power is not IN the software, any more than mine was in the music. Software for you is only an "instrument" through which you express your personal power. The power is not in the instrument, it's in you. And you therefore have the option - an infinite array of options - for how to express it. One idea: Since you may or may not be done with software now, instead of dreaming about early retirement, make a plan and make it happen. See this guy: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com http://www.mrmoneymustache.com for inspiration. Then you'll have plenty of time to explore other things. Though it may mean a few more years doing this. And/or, in the shorter term, the obvious thing to do is go explore some things and see if they interest you. Don't be all "I have to be a connoisseur overnight," just keep an open mind. Go see one play. Take an improv (like as in acting) class. Go to an art gallery opening. Learn to play a musical instrument. Go on one trip -- and LEAVE YOUR FUCKING PHONE IN THE SUITCASE UNTIL NIGHTTIME. Excuse me. I'm serious though, time away from technology, either incrementally or permanently, is probably what you need. Technology is not the solution to the world's ills, it is ultimately fairly empty, and arguably causes more problems than it solves. That doesn't mean it's not worthwhile - the Zen master still sharpens his sword now doesn't he? Not because he needs a sharp sword (or hopefully never does), but because the act of sharpening, sharpens him.