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I've frequently thought this over the past few years, and I feel like the conclusion I have is different than others in this thread. I don't becoming an adult
by russnewcomer 11y ago
I've frequently thought this over the past few years, and I feel like the conclusion I have is different than others in this thread.
I don't becoming an adult is really about you, exactly. It's not about your independence, or your actions.
It's about when other people become dependent on you.
I think this is the way that it has long been thought of in cultures outside of the post-Enlightenment West. This was my strong opinion after reading Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, (Russia isn't western like the rest of Europe) and Aquinas, Augustine, and Aristotle. I think that this is in part what the Apostle Paul is saying in 1 Corinithians 13:11 ( http://www.esvbible.org/1+Corinthians+13%3A11/ http://www.esvbible.org/1+Corinthians+13%3A11/ ), where you'll note that he doesn't say the equivalent of stopping to be like a child meant I had become a man, but rather I became a man, so I stopped being like a child.
I think about soldiers I have met and know. They change when they get to NCO status. I think of the boys I have met from North Omaha, which is arguably one of the worst places in America for young African American males, and that there is a difference between the ones who are the oldest in their families and the ones who are the youngest, even if they are the same age. And I think of my friends, and how we've changed when we've had kids, or when someone started a business and got ( real, not just one of his buddies-while-still-in-high-school ) employees.
Adulthood isn't about you, it's about your relationship to others.
- randlet 11y ago"Adulthood isn't about you, it's about your relationship to others." Love it!
- brightball 11y agoAlmost had this exact comment. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10868715 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10868715
- wordbank 11y agoDuh, sorry, but the culture and history of Russia (and neighboring slavic countries) is an example of how to run away from all sorts of responsibilities. Probably it sounds good in our classic books but in reality the only "other people become dependent on you" case is nepotism like in Middle Eastern or Central Asian cultures. But at least people from these cultures care about their elders and far relatives. Russians do not.
- Nimitz14 11y agoWhat a silly comment.
- wordbank 11y agoWhat a thought through objection! Here's a perfect example of the "responsible" Russian culture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=438sGy9IE58 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=438sGy9IE58 This video is not fake - I've experienced this kind of alienation (and even hostility) for over 20 years.
- Nimitz14 11y agorussnewcomer never implied that Russia had a responsible culture. I think you misunderstood his post. For some reason you decided to use his comment as a soapbox to broadcast your own views. Your comment is a non-sequitur (look it up). And by the way, fwiw as somebody with multiple citizenships, including American and Russian, I prefer the Russian attitude. People can have different opinions. ;)
- wordbank 11y agoAll people are talking to broadcast their views. In this case I just opposed to these statements because I thought he had some utopian views of life there: > It's about when other people become dependent on you. > I think this is the way that it has long been thought of in cultures outside of the post-Enlightenment West. This was my strong opinion after reading Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, (Russia isn't western like the rest of Europe) Nothing in Russian culture is "long been thought" about responsibility. You could say it about Japanese or Korean cultures probably - people kill themselves there because of failed responsibilities.
- russnewcomer 11y agoI don't have any utopian view of life in Russia or anywhere. And I was not intending to make a statement about modern Russia or really Russian culture, more about my observations from reading classic Russian literature. I think modern Russia has, like America, a confluence of old and new philosophies that contend with each other, and produce different results different places in culture. But in my thinking on this subject, at least, there is a difference between dependency and responsibility that I think maybe doesn't come across the best.
- hgh 11y agoWell said. A mentor of mine once told that to be a child is to be dependent, to be an adolescent is to reach for independence, and then to be an adult is to recognize our interdependence.