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I'm approaching 40. I've never been "aimless", and while I can definitely increase how often I take responsibility, I'm doing well. I own a house, am married,

I'm approaching 40. I've never been "aimless", and while I can definitely increase how often I take responsibility, I'm doing well. I own a house, am married, taking care of my mother, employed, socking money away in a 401k (probably not fast enough, but it's happening). ...and I've never felt like an adult. I can have the weird dichotomy of having friends young enough to have missed everything I relate to my childhood, friends that I consider "adult", and yet I still feel like I did when I graduated college. I have talked with CEOs and VPs or just other coders that are younger than I, yet I "feel" like they are older, more experienced. I have no idea when I'm really an adult, but I don't expect it will be soon.

pcurve 11y ago
I'm in a similar boat as your. My Mom put it the best a few years ago: "Son, I may be in my 60s, but my mind is always in my late 20s." You do toggle between different ages, wearing different adult hats depending on situations and people dealt on hands. But everyone's baseline mind is in their late 20s. At least, that's what I gather from talking to people. :)
- mahyarm 11y ago
  I feel like I'm fundamentally the same person at 16 myself. Even though many years later I'm wiser, more self-confident, know more, have a more developed personality and less energy. The radical transformations that happen to your mind and personality from 12 to 15 didn't happen at 15 to 18. Probably something to do with puberty.
rpgmaker 11y ago
Nobody feels like an adult. It's the world's dirty secret. — quote from Liberal Arts.
ejk314 11y ago
A relevant comic: http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2651 http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2651
dizzystar 11y ago
I was talking to a coworker about this. She is 26 and I said "you honestly don't change, like ever." Granted, I skipped the part about changes that are surprising, but mentally, we are who we are and that feeling of youth never really left me (nearing 40). I think that there is only two phases. The day you stop reinventing yourself and exploring possibilities, allow yourself to live in a rut, spend more time in front of a TV than out exploring the constantly changing world, and have nothing to show for the past year's effort but a beer belly, is the day you die. I wonder if that is what was meant by adulthood at one time in the past. As for feeling "younger" than younger people, well, I've always been sort of an old soul, but I think most people would consider my somewhat childish because I don't think about or talk about my experiences too much. I try to live in the moment and don't feel like I should share some aged wisdom. Life is more interesting and insightful with laughter, IMO.
- ap3 11y ago
  Feel the same way here (about mentally being the same person) I look at my 90 grandmother and think 'damn she still sees herself as 19 too'
dominotw 11y ago
You haven't described what being an adult means to you. If I understood correctly, you are saying the "adult"hood is a feeling that you know when you have it ?

pcurve 11y ago

I'm in a similar boat as your. My Mom put it the best a few years ago: "Son, I may be in my 60s, but my mind is always in my late 20s." You do toggle between different ages, wearing different adult hats depending on situations and people dealt on hands. But everyone's baseline mind is in their late 20s. At least, that's what I gather from talking to people. :)

mahyarm 11y ago
I feel like I'm fundamentally the same person at 16 myself. Even though many years later I'm wiser, more self-confident, know more, have a more developed personality and less energy. The radical transformations that happen to your mind and personality from 12 to 15 didn't happen at 15 to 18. Probably something to do with puberty.

rpgmaker 11y ago

Nobody feels like an adult. It's the world's dirty secret. — quote from Liberal Arts.

ejk314 11y ago

A relevant comic: http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2651 http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2651

dizzystar 11y ago

I was talking to a coworker about this. She is 26 and I said "you honestly don't change, like ever." Granted, I skipped the part about changes that are surprising, but mentally, we are who we are and that feeling of youth never really left me (nearing 40). I think that there is only two phases. The day you stop reinventing yourself and exploring possibilities, allow yourself to live in a rut, spend more time in front of a TV than out exploring the constantly changing world, and have nothing to show for the past year's effort but a beer belly, is the day you die. I wonder if that is what was meant by adulthood at one time in the past. As for feeling "younger" than younger people, well, I've always been sort of an old soul, but I think most people would consider my somewhat childish because I don't think about or talk about my experiences too much. I try to live in the moment and don't feel like I should share some aged wisdom. Life is more interesting and insightful with laughter, IMO.

ap3 11y ago
Feel the same way here (about mentally being the same person) I look at my 90 grandmother and think 'damn she still sees herself as 19 too'

dominotw 11y ago

You haven't described what being an adult means to you. If I understood correctly, you are saying the "adult"hood is a feeling that you know when you have it ?