4 ms·

I'd rather just give him water & food while otherwise ignoring his attitude, simply because it is a logical way to defuse the situatuon. I see no need for heapi

by bcook 11y ago

I'd rather just give him water & food while otherwise ignoring his attitude, simply because it is a logical way to defuse the situatuon. I see no need for heaping coals on his head or the promise of someone rewarding me. Regardless of my misinterpretation, I enjoy the passage. :)

mdip 11y ago
What you've stated in your first sentence is a perfect interpretation IMHO. Providing kindness in response to evil diffuses the problem. Some translations adjust that verse contextually to read "Heaping hot coals of shame". The resultant behavior of said evil person, however, can go either way, making "Heaping hot coals" an apt description of a very common (in my life, majority) outcome to that behavior. As in the story, the customer becomes exasperated as the author continues to respond with kindness. Some people like to treat others like crap (especially others who have a job that involves "serving them, the customer") because it allows them to assert power over the other person. I'm not talking about the occasional bad day "taking it out on someone else" and enjoying it, but the kind of person who has to do this all the time to feel good. Those people positively lose their shit when you respond with kindness. In that scenario, you've accidentally put them in a spot of having to admit that you might just be "the better person", so they escalate in hopes that you'll crack. I find the bible most interesting for that latter bit, though. I was brought up in a church that regularly told us what to do but gave only "Because God says so" as the reason. I grew up and left the church entirely as a result. Later in life I was frustrated when I discovered that the advice is usually followed up with "and here's the earthly outcome you can expect if you do this" along with "the Lord will reward you (because He said so)".
- bcook 11y ago
  I worked as a waiter as a teen and I learned that, almost compulsively, some people must be a jerk in those situations. Personally, I found it best to feel sorry for them (rather than anger, if I must choose an emotion) but mostly just let them vent, not taking it personally. Sometimes they are trying to actually hurt your feelings on a personal level and it might be logical to aggressively inform them of their hurtful actions, but even then... letting them bother you is a mistake. My major complaint is that the passage seems to insinuate that you must "win" the situation with the jerk, which I think is selfish. The hardest choice, perhaps impossible, is knowing when "winning" (making him face what he is doing) the encounter would truly benefit the jerk. I really liked your response. Thank you.
  - simplify 11y ago
    It's certainly not about "winning". God said vengeance is His. If heaping coals was vengeance, wouldn't that mean we ourselves apply vengeance, albeit indirectly, by being nice to our enemies? Wouldn't that mean the motivation for our acts of kindness is corrupted by the burning desire for revenge? These problems cause others to find a different interpretation, putting the hot coals in a good light, instead of a "vengeful" one. Here is a short overview on the topic: http://prumc.blogspot.com/2009/04/heap-burning-coals.html http://prumc.blogspot.com/2009/04/heap-burning-coals.html

by bcook 11y ago

mdip 11y ago

What you've stated in your first sentence is a perfect interpretation IMHO. Providing kindness in response to evil diffuses the problem. Some translations adjust that verse contextually to read "Heaping hot coals of shame". The resultant behavior of said evil person, however, can go either way, making "Heaping hot coals" an apt description of a very common (in my life, majority) outcome to that behavior. As in the story, the customer becomes exasperated as the author continues to respond with kindness. Some people like to treat others like crap (especially others who have a job that involves "serving them, the customer") because it allows them to assert power over the other person. I'm not talking about the occasional bad day "taking it out on someone else" and enjoying it, but the kind of person who has to do this all the time to feel good. Those people positively lose their shit when you respond with kindness. In that scenario, you've accidentally put them in a spot of having to admit that you might just be "the better person", so they escalate in hopes that you'll crack. I find the bible most interesting for that latter bit, though. I was brought up in a church that regularly told us what to do but gave only "Because God says so" as the reason. I grew up and left the church entirely as a result. Later in life I was frustrated when I discovered that the advice is usually followed up with "and here's the earthly outcome you can expect if you do this" along with "the Lord will reward you (because He said so)".

bcook 11y ago
I worked as a waiter as a teen and I learned that, almost compulsively, some people must be a jerk in those situations. Personally, I found it best to feel sorry for them (rather than anger, if I must choose an emotion) but mostly just let them vent, not taking it personally. Sometimes they are trying to actually hurt your feelings on a personal level and it might be logical to aggressively inform them of their hurtful actions, but even then... letting them bother you is a mistake. My major complaint is that the passage seems to insinuate that you must "win" the situation with the jerk, which I think is selfish. The hardest choice, perhaps impossible, is knowing when "winning" (making him face what he is doing) the encounter would truly benefit the jerk. I really liked your response. Thank you.
- simplify 11y ago
  It's certainly not about "winning". God said vengeance is His. If heaping coals was vengeance, wouldn't that mean we ourselves apply vengeance, albeit indirectly, by being nice to our enemies? Wouldn't that mean the motivation for our acts of kindness is corrupted by the burning desire for revenge? These problems cause others to find a different interpretation, putting the hot coals in a good light, instead of a "vengeful" one. Here is a short overview on the topic: http://prumc.blogspot.com/2009/04/heap-burning-coals.html http://prumc.blogspot.com/2009/04/heap-burning-coals.html