4 ms·

But to be fair, and this won't be a popular comment, but I'm asking honestly, why did you take on a non working partner and child fresh out of college? You evid

But to be fair, and this won't be a popular comment, but I'm asking honestly, why did you take on a non working partner and child fresh out of college? You evidently have great character to overcome, and I don't know the UK system, but these would be impossible burdens for most middle class Americans before the age of at least 25, and likely put long term if not permanent damping factors on their career growth to be able to get to where you are now.

rglullis 11y ago
> most middle class Americans before the age of 25. That applies only if you live in any of the big urban centers, where the idea that living well until your 30's and even 40's with roommates just to be able to make do in shitty apartments that cost $1000+, not to mention the student loans to pay for the useless degree in humanities. Or alternatively, to choose med/law school and keep deferring the high-income years. Move to any part of flyover country, choose a career that does not require the stupid treadmill of higher-education and it will be pretty possible to start raising a family at age 25.
TeMPOraL 11y ago
Not GP, but my guess is - because people are not robots. Not many people are responsible enough to plan out their lives and then stick to that plan. Also, you sometimes end up in those situations despite your best efforts at being "responsible". Either because of love, unplanned pregnancy... or sudden loss of ability to work of the other partner (think medical issues).
darkr 11y ago
The welfare state[1], would have provided housing benefit (possibly council housing), child benefit, child care, income support for low earners, tax credits, free school meals, free dental/vision etc. On top of this we have the NHS, and a reasonable state education system. Though I'm guessing that the parent (in both senses of the word) went through this quite a while ago - since the 80's, successive conservative governments have made cuts to welfare programmes/spending, which has been responsible at least in part for bringing social mobility to a standstill in the UK. 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welfare_state_in_the_United_Kingdom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welfare_state_in_the_United_Ki...
sjclemmy 11y ago
The pithy answer is 'life is complicated, confusing and difficult'. The slightly longer answer is; I was young, I was (and still am) in love, it's my child (and she's great btw. Aced all her exams, goes to a top University /brag) I felt it was the right thing to do, and, time has borne that out. I agree it has put a damping factor on my career, but, you know what? (and this goes for a lot of commentary on HN) life is not just about making money and having a good career.
- fudgy73 11y ago
  Thanks for answering this.
rpgmaker 11y ago
Sounds like he fell in love with someone who already had a kid.
- pc86 11y ago
  Perhaps it's best to let the person to whom the question was actually posed answer instead of just making things up.

rglullis 11y ago

> most middle class Americans before the age of 25. That applies only if you live in any of the big urban centers, where the idea that living well until your 30's and even 40's with roommates just to be able to make do in shitty apartments that cost $1000+, not to mention the student loans to pay for the useless degree in humanities. Or alternatively, to choose med/law school and keep deferring the high-income years. Move to any part of flyover country, choose a career that does not require the stupid treadmill of higher-education and it will be pretty possible to start raising a family at age 25.

TeMPOraL 11y ago

Not GP, but my guess is - because people are not robots. Not many people are responsible enough to plan out their lives and then stick to that plan. Also, you sometimes end up in those situations despite your best efforts at being "responsible". Either because of love, unplanned pregnancy... or sudden loss of ability to work of the other partner (think medical issues).

darkr 11y ago

The welfare state[1], would have provided housing benefit (possibly council housing), child benefit, child care, income support for low earners, tax credits, free school meals, free dental/vision etc. On top of this we have the NHS, and a reasonable state education system. Though I'm guessing that the parent (in both senses of the word) went through this quite a while ago - since the 80's, successive conservative governments have made cuts to welfare programmes/spending, which has been responsible at least in part for bringing social mobility to a standstill in the UK. 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welfare_state_in_the_United_Kingdom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welfare_state_in_the_United_Ki...

sjclemmy 11y ago

The pithy answer is 'life is complicated, confusing and difficult'. The slightly longer answer is; I was young, I was (and still am) in love, it's my child (and she's great btw. Aced all her exams, goes to a top University /brag) I felt it was the right thing to do, and, time has borne that out. I agree it has put a damping factor on my career, but, you know what? (and this goes for a lot of commentary on HN) life is not just about making money and having a good career.

fudgy73 11y ago
Thanks for answering this.

rpgmaker 11y ago

Sounds like he fell in love with someone who already had a kid.

pc86 11y ago
Perhaps it's best to let the person to whom the question was actually posed answer instead of just making things up.