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To answer this, the parents, and many sibling posts all in one; we've already have almost a good decade of misery together, so we figured "might as well do it

To answer this, the parents, and many sibling posts all in one; we've already have almost a good decade of misery together, so we figured "might as well do it for masochism's sake" :) I'd re-echo the clarification of my main point though, and be less glib: by being able to meet these differences head on, we each managed over the years to shift the other, and produce a dynamic I've become "pretty OK" with. Fortunately the mindsets of the parents don't have to carry down to children in exact parity. (To re-glib for the conclusion; Especially in my case or else I'd be elbow deep in some cancer patient, and I don't have a strong stomach for that sort of thing)

HeyLaughingBoy 11y ago
by being able to meet these differences head on That is really key. I am convinced that the reason many relationships, from business to marriages, get in trouble is by avoiding the inevitable conflict or managing it poorly. People will disagree: to respond to an earlier point, my spouse often reminds me that she's not as logically oriented as I am. That's a reminder that all problems can't be addressed through logic. As long as each of us remembers how the other is wired, we find a way to muddle through all the problems we've come across. And there have been some Duesies! But the important thing is to address them and not let issues fester until they explode. More on topic for HN: conflict resolution is an important skill for anyone who will be managing others or engaging with customers. Learning to get better at it can have a positive impact on your bottom line.
- Grishnakh 11y ago
  >I am convinced that the reason many relationships, from business to marriages, get in trouble is by avoiding the inevitable conflict or managing it poorly. However, it's easier to avoid a lot of "inevitable conflict" by not getting into a relationship with someone whose worldview is too different from your own. Any marriage is going to have some conflict, but picking your partner wisely can minimize that. People I think tend not to think about this when they're young because they haven't been through a failed marriage, and society feeds them a lot of fairy-tale bullshit about how "love conquers all".

HeyLaughingBoy 11y ago

by being able to meet these differences head on That is really key. I am convinced that the reason many relationships, from business to marriages, get in trouble is by avoiding the inevitable conflict or managing it poorly. People will disagree: to respond to an earlier point, my spouse often reminds me that she's not as logically oriented as I am. That's a reminder that all problems can't be addressed through logic. As long as each of us remembers how the other is wired, we find a way to muddle through all the problems we've come across. And there have been some Duesies! But the important thing is to address them and not let issues fester until they explode. More on topic for HN: conflict resolution is an important skill for anyone who will be managing others or engaging with customers. Learning to get better at it can have a positive impact on your bottom line.

Grishnakh 11y ago
>I am convinced that the reason many relationships, from business to marriages, get in trouble is by avoiding the inevitable conflict or managing it poorly. However, it's easier to avoid a lot of "inevitable conflict" by not getting into a relationship with someone whose worldview is too different from your own. Any marriage is going to have some conflict, but picking your partner wisely can minimize that. People I think tend not to think about this when they're young because they haven't been through a failed marriage, and society feeds them a lot of fairy-tale bullshit about how "love conquers all".