15 ms·

Being right won't pay your bills

98 points by austinlchurch 11y ago

puredemo 11y ago
Nice blog post, though I disagree with the title -- being right certainly pays my bills. ;) The theme is more like, "Learn to pick your battles with clients."
- zzalpha 11y ago
  It's more than that. Even if you choose to fight, fight the right way. Being overly emotional and ego driven ("I'm right, how dare they?!") can be very damaging to a relationship, even if you end up "winning". The key, as I'm trying to teach myself every day, seems to be to get yourself and your ego out of the picture. The advice I really loved was to picture yourself as some absurd, godlike dictator, demanding the world bend to your whim... With that in mind in mind you realize how silly you're being. It's something I struggle with every day, but learning this kind of self control is very important to long term success.
  - voltagex_ 11y ago
    I'm sure it's different when contracting, but it's really hard when working in a large organisations. There are a few different kinds of reactions to the inefficiencies and inequalities in $BIGCORP: * Try to fix everything - this will lead to burnout * Ignore it, and just work on your stuff - this will work, but you probably won't get promoted * Play politics and try to fix a few things through the "right channels" - this probably works, but it's really really difficult and can be soul-destroying. * Do what you can, and update your resume - cynical, but probably the best option if you like eating food. I mean, you're not always in a position where you can educate your clients. Sometimes doing that would be a career limiting move.
- austinlchurch 11y ago
  Yeah, that's a good point. I remember including "pick your battles" somewhere in the post, but your suggestion for the title would have been better than my own!
mgr86 11y ago
>You may have heard the old saw about marriage: “You can be right, or you can be happy.” -- Happy to see that saying in there. In its sometimes hard to remember that not everyone is as logic oriented as myself.
- issa 11y ago
  I think you could safely add that last sentence to the list of things NOT to say to a spouse.
  - existencebox 11y ago
    Is that necessarily true? It seems like it would depend on the dynamic. I know I've had many and extensive (and quite good) conversations with my fiancee as to how she was brought up in a family that valued emotional reasoning over logical reasoning. Knowing the inputs and broad transactions to someone's mental processes (especially if they're very close to you) can help facilitate communication/understanding, regardless of the value judgement one applies to them. To tie this back to the article, sometimes being right can work, but it's a risky line to push without the above, a clear understanding of the person opposite you's mental process. That being said, also as the above, I find that in situations where a business relationship can build that trust and understanding even in the face of contrary views on certain things (logic vs emotion, to draw that parallel) a far better working relationship can be established, although I have a feeling to an entrepreneurial community this is stating the obvious :) I think the author touches on this but not specifically, "be easy to work with" is a nice umbrella that I'd add an addendum to, a hope that both parties try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and some tolerance through disagreement in the hope that the opposite party is doing the same, and eventually, you may not have to worry as much about the friction of being right. (within reason)
    - Grishnakh 11y ago
      >I know I've had many and extensive (and quite good) conversations with my fiancee as to how she was brought up in a family that valued emotional reasoning over logical reasoning. Yeah, I tried marrying someone like that. It didn't turn out well. I recommend breaking off the engagement while you still can, or else you're in for years of misery.
deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
sailfast 11y ago
Great article and the last mantra stood out: >Value, not prices. >Experiences, not products. >Outcomes, not processes. Would love to see the title changed to "Being right(eous) won't pay your bills" - being right is important, letting everybody know it is a totally different thing :)
- austinlchurch 11y ago
  Love this nuance you teased out.
epalmer 11y ago
Whenever I feel like I have to respond immediately, like right now damnit: I should wait.
austinjp 11y ago
This is absolutely true, and applies to people other than "creatives". There's a slightly patronising tone to this, whether it's right or wrong: " we must Siberia educate our clients". While true, it's not the key issue. They can educate us too, and perhaps that's the take-away here. I hope to put myself in my clients' shoes every time I talk to them. That way, everything they say makes perfect sense, and we can agree a way through any issues together, as a partnership. I don't always manage to do this effectively, of course, but reflecting on this helps me slowly, slowly improve.
- exolymph 11y ago
  Compassion is almost always worth the effort. Very difficult thought.
- austinjp 11y ago
  Ugh. Autocorrect. Siberia = always.
herge 11y ago
Related to the last 2%, I'm always shocked whenever a waiter balks at splitting up a check when multiple people are paying. I always think "Really, you are going to annoy me right before I decide how much tip I will give you?"
- eridius 11y ago
  That's not usually the waiter's fault. POS systems are, generally, a POS. Sure, they should have some way to split bills, but "should" does not always mean "does". Or maybe splitting the bill requires spending a few minutes manually building 2 new checks, which may not be something the waiter has time to do in a busy restaurant. Or maybe the waiter would be happy to do it but the restaurant itself has a policy against splitting checks (or at least, splitting checks for parties under a given size; I've definitely been to places that allow you to use 2 credit cards if you have 6 or more people, and never more than 2 cards).
  - cornholio 11y ago
    It might not be his fault, but if he has to do it anyway, why not get paid for it ?
    - eridius 11y ago
      Two things to come to mind. First, if you're actually holding a waiter's tip hostage over the ability to split checks, you're a shitty person. And the kind of person that threatens to leave a bad tip if the waiter doesn't do something is the kind of person that probably tips badly to begin with. Second, time is a zero sum game. If the waiter has to spend several minutes wrestling with the POS to split a check, that's several minutes they can't be serving other tables, which if the restaurant is busy can mean a degraded experience for other diners (and of course if this leads to someone being unhappy with the service that will likely mean a reduced tip). Of course if the restaurant isn't busy and the waiter can afford to spend several minutes on this, then nobody else has to suffer, but if that's the case I wouldn't expect the waiter to balk at splitting the check (assuming they're capable of doing so at all, which as I said before may not be true depending on the POS or on restaurant policy).
nickpsecurity 11y ago
This is a good article that many would call "Customer Service 101." The author seemed to have been weak in that area. Good the author realized how important it is to overall earnings. On blogs or whatever, I can be pretty blunt and harsh. With my customers, I walk a tight rope between being aggressive and being gentle almost always moderate. I'm quick to concede something to customer if the overall value proposition is still good for long-term or it's a little thing that can't hurt my image. Past that, I might try to shift blame from them or I to the circumstances of the situation while portraying us as a team handling it. Pissing them off is the last thing you want to do, though, given long-term is more important. Author either skimmed over or didn't mention two things, though. One is that customers often talk to other potential customers. Even those you "fire" you should separate from on good terms or not too harshly if possible. They can spread word fast through other clients who are then more likely to turn down contracts. The other issue is the clients asking too much: many do it on purpose. There's so many hustlers out there who play proper capitalist by always getting as much as possible while giving as little as possible. So, you need to determine ahead of time what's your willing to commit to, possible extras, possible compromises, and absolute upper-bounds for any given job/client. Then, stick to it and politely if people are pushing it too much. Give those types an inch, they'll take a mile: you go from profitable, independent consultant to many to practically under-paid employee of one. Things to remember.
dx211 11y ago
> But in retrospect I can see that my touchiness in that moment probably cost me tens of thousands of dollars. I don't know if it's a side effect of living in a western society, but I see people make this kind of mistake all the time in the corporate world -- i.e. assuming that behind it all there's some neutral arbiter who will square any conflicts that arise in the workplace. In reality, if you make your self look like an ass in front of the wrong person, at the wrong point in the fiscal year, it affects your bonus / promotion / etc., and you never get that back, plus it's used to factor into every reward you get until you leave that company. Definitely better to be diplomatic.
- kwhitefoot 11y ago
  > I don't know if it's a side effect of living in a western society ... In reality, if you make your self look like an ass in front of the wrong person, at the wrong point in the fiscal year, it affects your bonus / promotion / etc., and you never get that back Is this western as in Europe, North America, Aus/NZ or just US?
- TeMPOraL 11y ago
  In a corporate world, it probably doesn't matter most of the time. Corporations are big entities - individual failings get lost in the noise. If you're a top executive then sure, your every word will push the stock price around. But an average employee can absolutely be an ass, as long as they don't anger the management, and it won't likely affect the bottom-line that much. It also applies to smaller companies; in fact, I'm beginning to believe that people are being too obsessive about pleasing the customers. For instance, the best way to get a company to respond to your complaint today is through social media. They will ignore your e-mails. They will bullshit you on the phone. But they will not ignore a complaint on a Facebook page. But why is that? An average consumer has exactly zero capability to inflict any damage to the company. They won't even lose a single sale over it, unless the company is very new or caters to a niche market. Some companies, those in extremely competitive environments, know it all too well. In convenience stores, besides meeting tons of cool people, you can also meet tons of assholes. They don't care. They know you have to buy food anyway.
  - 11y ago
thom 11y ago
If you're an agency that can scale up arbitrarily, by all means work for bad clients, especially as you've got people relying on you making payroll. If you're just a freelancer, why bother? There are only so many billable hours in the year, and there's more work than you could ever turn down, most of it for agencies that are unable to say no.
comrh 11y ago
> Feeling very righteous and indignant... Recognizing those feelings and knowing that it is time for a walk and NOT time to respond to emails is a useful skill.
- billhathaway 11y ago
  Absolutely. I took a mindfulness class and the biggest takeaway for me was to take time between the event and the response whenever you feel an immediate emotional reaction.
  - tyingq 11y ago
    There's an "undo send" feature in gmail (settings->general) that has saved me a few times. I wish it would allow for a send delay higher than 30 seconds though.
devonkim 11y ago
That's pretty much customer service 101 / consulting ABCs. Sometimes you have to learn it through experience if it doesn't come natural to you, but I think it can be learned, taught, and coached. The more nuanced, hard part is to be able to effectively read (over a phone even) whether your customer is the type that has been burned by charlatans in the past and wants technical excellence first... or whether they would prefer "bedside manner" moreso (this is an area that a lot of doctors also fail routinely). Some people are extremely hard to read, and it gets more difficult the higher up a corporate hierarchy you go and for more lucrative verticals in my experience - they're all used to very strong poker faces. But few high level business decisions are made purely upon raw information, so understanding emotion becomes very important if your business focuses upon fewer customers with greater $ / customer. All too often people fail to read the emotions behind what someone wants and tries to execute to the details of the request instead of looking for context first before touching a keyboard. I worked with a good engineer that diligently worked on problems reliably, and my customer had an issue that they really just didn't care about that much but only wanted to just send out the door for the sake of finishing it and marking it done (it's turning into shelfware, but there's... obligations / due dilligence). I had a hard time communicating that over the phone with the customer present and the customer was getting frustrated (visible but not audible) but another senior engineer figured out between the lines what I was implying between my words, drastically reduced effort on the problem being worked, and the customer was happier for it.
doodpants 11y ago
> People remember the last 2% most vividly. Agreed. I'm going to remember this guy as the one who shoved a pop-up in my face asking for my email shortly after I reached the end of the article. Not to mention the first 2%, where he asked for my email so he could send me his business tips before I even got to read the article.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- Guvante 11y ago
  Didn't get to the end of the article, it instantly popped up on me, was surprised it managed to gain any traction here. (Rotated monitor is probably why)
  - TeMPOraL 11y ago
    This actually shows the principle opposite to this article being at work - it demonstrates that you can be annoying to people, and they will somehow deal with you anyway :).
    - Guvante 11y ago
      Depends, I skipped the contents completely when that happened, only went to the comments to see if I was the only one.
- zem 11y ago
  i almost didn't read the article because the first 2% took up an entire screen. when i switched to the tab it looked like a spam page i'd opened by mistake.
FreedomToCreate 11y ago
This basically has to do with how our brains work. We weigh negatives things in our mind much more than positive. Thats why even a good friendship built over many years with many positives can be ruined by a small mistake. Its core to survival to look out for negatives over positives, because it can avoid major trouble. Sympathy and compassion are things we need to work on to overcome our brains natural push.
sliverstorm 11y ago
The need to be right is frequently dangerous. From my days motorcycling: Being right won't keep you out of a hospital bed
SiliconTomato 11y ago
Learned this the hard way, minus 10K!
thegayngler 11y ago
If I feel that strongly about something, I just stop. I don't like confrontations at work TBQH. I'll leave if I think I can't be of any further service or someone doesn't need my expertise. No use getting worked up or arguing about it.
tyingq 11y ago
Totally agree with the premise of being diplomatic and calm, even when a customer is wrong. However, it almost reads like he's saying he should have just issued the (undeserved) credit the customer asked for. Personally, I think that could be just as costly over the long term...it sets a precedent that the customer will likely leverage over and over again.
- djillionsmix 11y ago
  Yeah I think the best lesson to take from the parable is to keep the ego and corresponding negative emotions out of it. There's nothing really wrong with what he told the guy (at least, what he says he told the guy), it's just that by his own words, the way he said it came across like him being a . When instead if he'd been able to get past his anger/offense at being questioned, he could have done the same thing but positively, like "dude check out all this awesome shit i am literally already doing for you, for free! Doesn't that actually look like you are getting a pretty sweet deal?" And so then instead of this client being like "oh well fuck me for asking I guess" he could have been like "whoa shit this guy is giving me the sick hookup, I better hire him all the time from now on forever!"
Mendenhall 11y ago
A seasonal company calls me in to do customer support during their busy season when the mail has lost customers packages and they havent been delivered and everybody is crabby. In helping 1000+ customers on a live chat alone none have ever given me a negative review. (which I never let the company forget:) and a major reason they call me in. One tip when dealing with a upset customer, they will often call in angry and instantly start on a tirade of why they are upset. If they do I instantly interrupt them and ask them for account information and assure them we will take care of any issue they have because we are here to help. It does 2 things, you dont want them to rant and build up negative energy so you nip that in the bud and they dont have to relive negative feelings. The assurance that we will take care of them instantly sets tone that no matter what their problem will be solved so you take all the stress away from the start. Telling them you are there to help in a friendly tone makes it very hard for them to express anger since you dont get angry at those helping you. Take away the anger and leave them with happy thoughts. Once the anger is gone the rest is easy. Edit- Also when you interrupt and ask for account information it shows that before you even have to hear the problem you are already working to solve it in a fast and effective manner for them.
- TeMPOraL 11y ago
  That's a golden advice. Digging into details, I wonder just how much benefit comes from not just telling them "we will take care of any issue you have", but from immediately asking for account details. Instead of sounding cliché, this sends an immediate signal that they're being helped right now. And when someone is actually helping, there's nothing beneficial in being angry at them.
  - Mendenhall 11y ago
    I edited before seeing this comment and you had all ready responded. In my experience you are dead on, it shows "I am on this and value your time."
- jmadsen 11y ago
  Unless, of course, they've just typed in their 16-digit account number before being connected with you ;-) (Doesn't sound like your case, but people will miss that little qualifier. I mean, of course, the cases where they ask for your account number - not verify details)
s73v3r 11y ago
Be easy to work with, but at the same time there is absolutely no reason to give the client in the beginning a credit. Doing so will probably hurt you more, as the client will lose all respect for you and your rates.
deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
stephenboyd 11y ago
The author's observation that the last 2% of a transaction has a bigger impact on the customer's perception is consistent with the peak-end rule, which is a pyschological heuristic predicting a person's overall impression of an experience based on its most intense and last moments. Daniel Kahneman (the guy who wrote Thinking, Fast and Slow) and some others have done good research on it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak%E2%80%93end_rule https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak%E2%80%93end_rule

98 points by austinlchurch 11y ago

Nice blog post, though I disagree with the title -- being right certainly pays my bills. ;) The theme is more like, "Learn to pick your battles with clients."

zzalpha 11y ago
It's more than that. Even if you choose to fight, fight the right way. Being overly emotional and ego driven ("I'm right, how dare they?!") can be very damaging to a relationship, even if you end up "winning". The key, as I'm trying to teach myself every day, seems to be to get yourself and your ego out of the picture. The advice I really loved was to picture yourself as some absurd, godlike dictator, demanding the world bend to your whim... With that in mind in mind you realize how silly you're being. It's something I struggle with every day, but learning this kind of self control is very important to long term success.
- voltagex_ 11y ago
  I'm sure it's different when contracting, but it's really hard when working in a large organisations. There are a few different kinds of reactions to the inefficiencies and inequalities in $BIGCORP: * Try to fix everything - this will lead to burnout * Ignore it, and just work on your stuff - this will work, but you probably won't get promoted * Play politics and try to fix a few things through the "right channels" - this probably works, but it's really really difficult and can be soul-destroying. * Do what you can, and update your resume - cynical, but probably the best option if you like eating food. I mean, you're not always in a position where you can educate your clients. Sometimes doing that would be a career limiting move.
austinlchurch 11y ago
Yeah, that's a good point. I remember including "pick your battles" somewhere in the post, but your suggestion for the title would have been better than my own!

mgr86 11y ago

>You may have heard the old saw about marriage: “You can be right, or you can be happy.” -- Happy to see that saying in there. In its sometimes hard to remember that not everyone is as logic oriented as myself.

issa 11y ago
I think you could safely add that last sentence to the list of things NOT to say to a spouse.
- existencebox 11y ago
  Is that necessarily true? It seems like it would depend on the dynamic. I know I've had many and extensive (and quite good) conversations with my fiancee as to how she was brought up in a family that valued emotional reasoning over logical reasoning. Knowing the inputs and broad transactions to someone's mental processes (especially if they're very close to you) can help facilitate communication/understanding, regardless of the value judgement one applies to them. To tie this back to the article, sometimes being right can work, but it's a risky line to push without the above, a clear understanding of the person opposite you's mental process. That being said, also as the above, I find that in situations where a business relationship can build that trust and understanding even in the face of contrary views on certain things (logic vs emotion, to draw that parallel) a far better working relationship can be established, although I have a feeling to an entrepreneurial community this is stating the obvious :) I think the author touches on this but not specifically, "be easy to work with" is a nice umbrella that I'd add an addendum to, a hope that both parties try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and some tolerance through disagreement in the hope that the opposite party is doing the same, and eventually, you may not have to worry as much about the friction of being right. (within reason)
  - Grishnakh 11y ago
    >I know I've had many and extensive (and quite good) conversations with my fiancee as to how she was brought up in a family that valued emotional reasoning over logical reasoning. Yeah, I tried marrying someone like that. It didn't turn out well. I recommend breaking off the engagement while you still can, or else you're in for years of misery.

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

sailfast 11y ago

Great article and the last mantra stood out: >Value, not prices. >Experiences, not products. >Outcomes, not processes. Would love to see the title changed to "Being right(eous) won't pay your bills" - being right is important, letting everybody know it is a totally different thing :)

austinlchurch 11y ago
Love this nuance you teased out.

epalmer 11y ago

Whenever I feel like I have to respond immediately, like right now damnit: I should wait.

austinjp 11y ago

This is absolutely true, and applies to people other than "creatives". There's a slightly patronising tone to this, whether it's right or wrong: " we must Siberia educate our clients". While true, it's not the key issue. They can educate us too, and perhaps that's the take-away here. I hope to put myself in my clients' shoes every time I talk to them. That way, everything they say makes perfect sense, and we can agree a way through any issues together, as a partnership. I don't always manage to do this effectively, of course, but reflecting on this helps me slowly, slowly improve.

exolymph 11y ago
Compassion is almost always worth the effort. Very difficult thought.
austinjp 11y ago
Ugh. Autocorrect. Siberia = always.

herge 11y ago

Related to the last 2%, I'm always shocked whenever a waiter balks at splitting up a check when multiple people are paying. I always think "Really, you are going to annoy me right before I decide how much tip I will give you?"

eridius 11y ago
That's not usually the waiter's fault. POS systems are, generally, a POS. Sure, they should have some way to split bills, but "should" does not always mean "does". Or maybe splitting the bill requires spending a few minutes manually building 2 new checks, which may not be something the waiter has time to do in a busy restaurant. Or maybe the waiter would be happy to do it but the restaurant itself has a policy against splitting checks (or at least, splitting checks for parties under a given size; I've definitely been to places that allow you to use 2 credit cards if you have 6 or more people, and never more than 2 cards).
- cornholio 11y ago
  It might not be his fault, but if he has to do it anyway, why not get paid for it ?
  - eridius 11y ago
    Two things to come to mind. First, if you're actually holding a waiter's tip hostage over the ability to split checks, you're a shitty person. And the kind of person that threatens to leave a bad tip if the waiter doesn't do something is the kind of person that probably tips badly to begin with. Second, time is a zero sum game. If the waiter has to spend several minutes wrestling with the POS to split a check, that's several minutes they can't be serving other tables, which if the restaurant is busy can mean a degraded experience for other diners (and of course if this leads to someone being unhappy with the service that will likely mean a reduced tip). Of course if the restaurant isn't busy and the waiter can afford to spend several minutes on this, then nobody else has to suffer, but if that's the case I wouldn't expect the waiter to balk at splitting the check (assuming they're capable of doing so at all, which as I said before may not be true depending on the POS or on restaurant policy).

nickpsecurity 11y ago

This is a good article that many would call "Customer Service 101." The author seemed to have been weak in that area. Good the author realized how important it is to overall earnings. On blogs or whatever, I can be pretty blunt and harsh. With my customers, I walk a tight rope between being aggressive and being gentle almost always moderate. I'm quick to concede something to customer if the overall value proposition is still good for long-term or it's a little thing that can't hurt my image. Past that, I might try to shift blame from them or I to the circumstances of the situation while portraying us as a team handling it. Pissing them off is the last thing you want to do, though, given long-term is more important. Author either skimmed over or didn't mention two things, though. One is that customers often talk to other potential customers. Even those you "fire" you should separate from on good terms or not too harshly if possible. They can spread word fast through other clients who are then more likely to turn down contracts. The other issue is the clients asking too much: many do it on purpose. There's so many hustlers out there who play proper capitalist by always getting as much as possible while giving as little as possible. So, you need to determine ahead of time what's your willing to commit to, possible extras, possible compromises, and absolute upper-bounds for any given job/client. Then, stick to it and politely if people are pushing it too much. Give those types an inch, they'll take a mile: you go from profitable, independent consultant to many to practically under-paid employee of one. Things to remember.

dx211 11y ago

> But in retrospect I can see that my touchiness in that moment probably cost me tens of thousands of dollars. I don't know if it's a side effect of living in a western society, but I see people make this kind of mistake all the time in the corporate world -- i.e. assuming that behind it all there's some neutral arbiter who will square any conflicts that arise in the workplace. In reality, if you make your self look like an ass in front of the wrong person, at the wrong point in the fiscal year, it affects your bonus / promotion / etc., and you never get that back, plus it's used to factor into every reward you get until you leave that company. Definitely better to be diplomatic.

kwhitefoot 11y ago
> I don't know if it's a side effect of living in a western society ... In reality, if you make your self look like an ass in front of the wrong person, at the wrong point in the fiscal year, it affects your bonus / promotion / etc., and you never get that back Is this western as in Europe, North America, Aus/NZ or just US?
TeMPOraL 11y ago
In a corporate world, it probably doesn't matter most of the time. Corporations are big entities - individual failings get lost in the noise. If you're a top executive then sure, your every word will push the stock price around. But an average employee can absolutely be an ass, as long as they don't anger the management, and it won't likely affect the bottom-line that much. It also applies to smaller companies; in fact, I'm beginning to believe that people are being too obsessive about pleasing the customers. For instance, the best way to get a company to respond to your complaint today is through social media. They will ignore your e-mails. They will bullshit you on the phone. But they will not ignore a complaint on a Facebook page. But why is that? An average consumer has exactly zero capability to inflict any damage to the company. They won't even lose a single sale over it, unless the company is very new or caters to a niche market. Some companies, those in extremely competitive environments, know it all too well. In convenience stores, besides meeting tons of cool people, you can also meet tons of assholes. They don't care. They know you have to buy food anyway.
- 11y ago

thom 11y ago

If you're an agency that can scale up arbitrarily, by all means work for bad clients, especially as you've got people relying on you making payroll. If you're just a freelancer, why bother? There are only so many billable hours in the year, and there's more work than you could ever turn down, most of it for agencies that are unable to say no.

comrh 11y ago

> Feeling very righteous and indignant... Recognizing those feelings and knowing that it is time for a walk and NOT time to respond to emails is a useful skill.

billhathaway 11y ago
Absolutely. I took a mindfulness class and the biggest takeaway for me was to take time between the event and the response whenever you feel an immediate emotional reaction.
- tyingq 11y ago
  There's an "undo send" feature in gmail (settings->general) that has saved me a few times. I wish it would allow for a send delay higher than 30 seconds though.

devonkim 11y ago

That's pretty much customer service 101 / consulting ABCs. Sometimes you have to learn it through experience if it doesn't come natural to you, but I think it can be learned, taught, and coached. The more nuanced, hard part is to be able to effectively read (over a phone even) whether your customer is the type that has been burned by charlatans in the past and wants technical excellence first... or whether they would prefer "bedside manner" moreso (this is an area that a lot of doctors also fail routinely). Some people are extremely hard to read, and it gets more difficult the higher up a corporate hierarchy you go and for more lucrative verticals in my experience - they're all used to very strong poker faces. But few high level business decisions are made purely upon raw information, so understanding emotion becomes very important if your business focuses upon fewer customers with greater $ / customer. All too often people fail to read the emotions behind what someone wants and tries to execute to the details of the request instead of looking for context first before touching a keyboard. I worked with a good engineer that diligently worked on problems reliably, and my customer had an issue that they really just didn't care about that much but only wanted to just send out the door for the sake of finishing it and marking it done (it's turning into shelfware, but there's... obligations / due dilligence). I had a hard time communicating that over the phone with the customer present and the customer was getting frustrated (visible but not audible) but another senior engineer figured out between the lines what I was implying between my words, drastically reduced effort on the problem being worked, and the customer was happier for it.

doodpants 11y ago

> People remember the last 2% most vividly. Agreed. I'm going to remember this guy as the one who shoved a pop-up in my face asking for my email shortly after I reached the end of the article. Not to mention the first 2%, where he asked for my email so he could send me his business tips before I even got to read the article.

deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
Guvante 11y ago
Didn't get to the end of the article, it instantly popped up on me, was surprised it managed to gain any traction here. (Rotated monitor is probably why)
- TeMPOraL 11y ago
  This actually shows the principle opposite to this article being at work - it demonstrates that you can be annoying to people, and they will somehow deal with you anyway :).
  - Guvante 11y ago
    Depends, I skipped the contents completely when that happened, only went to the comments to see if I was the only one.
zem 11y ago
i almost didn't read the article because the first 2% took up an entire screen. when i switched to the tab it looked like a spam page i'd opened by mistake.

FreedomToCreate 11y ago

This basically has to do with how our brains work. We weigh negatives things in our mind much more than positive. Thats why even a good friendship built over many years with many positives can be ruined by a small mistake. Its core to survival to look out for negatives over positives, because it can avoid major trouble. Sympathy and compassion are things we need to work on to overcome our brains natural push.

sliverstorm 11y ago

The need to be right is frequently dangerous. From my days motorcycling: Being right won't keep you out of a hospital bed

SiliconTomato 11y ago

Learned this the hard way, minus 10K!

thegayngler 11y ago

If I feel that strongly about something, I just stop. I don't like confrontations at work TBQH. I'll leave if I think I can't be of any further service or someone doesn't need my expertise. No use getting worked up or arguing about it.

tyingq 11y ago

Totally agree with the premise of being diplomatic and calm, even when a customer is wrong. However, it almost reads like he's saying he should have just issued the (undeserved) credit the customer asked for. Personally, I think that could be just as costly over the long term...it sets a precedent that the customer will likely leverage over and over again.

djillionsmix 11y ago
Yeah I think the best lesson to take from the parable is to keep the ego and corresponding negative emotions out of it. There's nothing really wrong with what he told the guy (at least, what he says he told the guy), it's just that by his own words, the way he said it came across like him being a . When instead if he'd been able to get past his anger/offense at being questioned, he could have done the same thing but positively, like "dude check out all this awesome shit i am literally already doing for you, for free! Doesn't that actually look like you are getting a pretty sweet deal?" And so then instead of this client being like "oh well fuck me for asking I guess" he could have been like "whoa shit this guy is giving me the sick hookup, I better hire him all the time from now on forever!"

Mendenhall 11y ago

A seasonal company calls me in to do customer support during their busy season when the mail has lost customers packages and they havent been delivered and everybody is crabby. In helping 1000+ customers on a live chat alone none have ever given me a negative review. (which I never let the company forget:) and a major reason they call me in. One tip when dealing with a upset customer, they will often call in angry and instantly start on a tirade of why they are upset. If they do I instantly interrupt them and ask them for account information and assure them we will take care of any issue they have because we are here to help. It does 2 things, you dont want them to rant and build up negative energy so you nip that in the bud and they dont have to relive negative feelings. The assurance that we will take care of them instantly sets tone that no matter what their problem will be solved so you take all the stress away from the start. Telling them you are there to help in a friendly tone makes it very hard for them to express anger since you dont get angry at those helping you. Take away the anger and leave them with happy thoughts. Once the anger is gone the rest is easy. Edit- Also when you interrupt and ask for account information it shows that before you even have to hear the problem you are already working to solve it in a fast and effective manner for them.

TeMPOraL 11y ago
That's a golden advice. Digging into details, I wonder just how much benefit comes from not just telling them "we will take care of any issue you have", but from immediately asking for account details. Instead of sounding cliché, this sends an immediate signal that they're being helped right now. And when someone is actually helping, there's nothing beneficial in being angry at them.
- Mendenhall 11y ago
  I edited before seeing this comment and you had all ready responded. In my experience you are dead on, it shows "I am on this and value your time."
jmadsen 11y ago
Unless, of course, they've just typed in their 16-digit account number before being connected with you ;-) (Doesn't sound like your case, but people will miss that little qualifier. I mean, of course, the cases where they ask for your account number - not verify details)

s73v3r 11y ago

Be easy to work with, but at the same time there is absolutely no reason to give the client in the beginning a credit. Doing so will probably hurt you more, as the client will lose all respect for you and your rates.

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stephenboyd 11y ago

The author's observation that the last 2% of a transaction has a bigger impact on the customer's perception is consistent with the peak-end rule, which is a pyschological heuristic predicting a person's overall impression of an experience based on its most intense and last moments. Daniel Kahneman (the guy who wrote Thinking, Fast and Slow) and some others have done good research on it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak%E2%80%93end_rule https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak%E2%80%93end_rule