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I struggled with similar emotions for a few years after turning 40 but lately I'm content to enjoy life and new experiences and continue to hone my skills as a

I struggled with similar emotions for a few years after turning 40 but lately I'm content to enjoy life and new experiences and continue to hone my skills as a programmer. I'm writing the best code of my life, traveling around the world, and taking everything one day at a time. I'm a lot happier since I outgrew the idea that I need to erect some kind of monument to myself in order to validate my existence.

sdfin 11y ago
I think that's a great insight. Such ideas about an imaginary need of 'erecting some kind of monument to oneself' can be a big obstacle to happiness.
jasode 11y ago
>since I outgrew the idea that I need to erect some kind of monument to myself in order to validate my existence. I know you're generalizing but I don't think vanity "monuments" is accurate of most techies' aspirations. People just want FU money: comfort, security, and freedom. The "starting a succesful software based company" is a reasonable shorthand for FU money for techies because if programmers are going to get rich, they're not going to do it by striking oil in their backyard or acting as leads in Star Wars films. If people don't have fu money by the time they're 40-something, they question their current job, their previous life choices, and their future possibilities. People can get bummed out and even question their abilities -- aka wondering why they procrastinate and can't focus (e.g. "Damnit! I'm too distracted with social media!") I think most programmers would be absolutely fine with being "not so famous" like Chris Hughes[1] with a net worth of $450 million instead of the more well-known Zuckerberg with $40 billion. Zuckerberg's face is on all the magazine covers but most programmers would be ok with no publicity and $450 million. I don't think the percentage of techies with the ego to be the next Larry Ellison or Steve Jobs is that high. Maybe I'm wrong. [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook
- cageface 11y ago
  Don't get me wrong. I would be thrilled to have 7-9 figures in the bank. But pursuing that kind of payout means playing very long odds of making nothing versus making a very comfortable salary working for somebody else. It's a decision we all have to make for ourselves but I had my turn at bat in the startup lottery and I'm not interested in playing again.
  - zrail 11y ago
    Seven figures is trivial if you're making software developer money and not living in a crazy HCOL area like SF or Manhattan. Live below your means and don't take on stupid debt. Invest what you can, ideally >= 50% of take home (after tax and health insurance, before retirement deductions).

sdfin 11y ago

I think that's a great insight. Such ideas about an imaginary need of 'erecting some kind of monument to oneself' can be a big obstacle to happiness.

jasode 11y ago

>since I outgrew the idea that I need to erect some kind of monument to myself in order to validate my existence. I know you're generalizing but I don't think vanity "monuments" is accurate of most techies' aspirations. People just want FU money: comfort, security, and freedom. The "starting a succesful software based company" is a reasonable shorthand for FU money for techies because if programmers are going to get rich, they're not going to do it by striking oil in their backyard or acting as leads in Star Wars films. If people don't have fu money by the time they're 40-something, they question their current job, their previous life choices, and their future possibilities. People can get bummed out and even question their abilities -- aka wondering why they procrastinate and can't focus (e.g. "Damnit! I'm too distracted with social media!") I think most programmers would be absolutely fine with being "not so famous" like Chris Hughes[1] with a net worth of $450 million instead of the more well-known Zuckerberg with $40 billion. Zuckerberg's face is on all the magazine covers but most programmers would be ok with no publicity and $450 million. I don't think the percentage of techies with the ego to be the next Larry Ellison or Steve Jobs is that high. Maybe I'm wrong. [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

cageface 11y ago
Don't get me wrong. I would be thrilled to have 7-9 figures in the bank. But pursuing that kind of payout means playing very long odds of making nothing versus making a very comfortable salary working for somebody else. It's a decision we all have to make for ourselves but I had my turn at bat in the startup lottery and I'm not interested in playing again.
- zrail 11y ago
  Seven figures is trivial if you're making software developer money and not living in a crazy HCOL area like SF or Manhattan. Live below your means and don't take on stupid debt. Invest what you can, ideally >= 50% of take home (after tax and health insurance, before retirement deductions).