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"policing other people's tone and word choices in such a harsh way" Feeling offended, are we? His words no more harmed you than the original article harmed th

"policing other people's tone and word choices in such a harsh way" Feeling offended, are we? His words no more harmed you than the original article harmed the person you're replying to, and they certainly don't have the force of police backing them up. We all have the right to express our opinions, and we all should have the expectation to be called on it when we say stupid shit (like "pussied out" or "manned up", which are sexist in a time where at least some of us would like for our industry to be more diverse and welcoming to new people, especially people who aren't especially common in our industry, like women). The article said some stupid shit, surrounded by lots of good advice. It's OK to call out the stupid shit. Take your own advice: Don't be so sensitive.

wtbob 11y ago
IMHO, stating '"manned up" is stupid shit' is at least as stupid as saying 'manned up,' but probably more so: where the latter is just a bit juvenile, and can be used deliberately for effect, the latter is just childish. It shouldn't be taken any more seriously than emanations of 'Timmy is looking at me!' from the back seat.
- SwellJoe 11y ago
  My metric for why "manned up" and "pussied out" is the kind of language I don't want to use, is "will this make someone, particularly someone in the extreme minority in my community, feel unwelcome or unwanted or unappreciated in my community?" So, of course, my first amendment rights mean I can say those kinds of things, without fear of police knocking down my door and dragging me off to a gulag. But, I don't want to say them, because it makes some people feel unwelcome in the conversation. Who do you believe I've made to feel unwelcome in saying that those phrases are stupid? (If the answer is, "People who enjoy saying shit that contributes to a culture of misogyny and sexism, with no one ever calling them on it." Then, I'm OK with it. It there's some other answer, I'd sincerely like to hear it.)
  - wtbob 11y ago
    The thing is, I don't think that 'manned up' is something which 'contributes to a culture of misogyny and sexism'; on the contrary, I believe that it's a valuable phrase. It is objectively better to be a man than a child. Like you, I don't mind making people feel unwelcome who really are unwelcome; unlike you, I consider people who derail technical discussions ostensibly to complain about perceived bias (but really to attract attention to themselves) to be unwelcome.

wtbob 11y ago

IMHO, stating '"manned up" is stupid shit' is at least as stupid as saying 'manned up,' but probably more so: where the latter is just a bit juvenile, and can be used deliberately for effect, the latter is just childish. It shouldn't be taken any more seriously than emanations of 'Timmy is looking at me!' from the back seat.

SwellJoe 11y ago
My metric for why "manned up" and "pussied out" is the kind of language I don't want to use, is "will this make someone, particularly someone in the extreme minority in my community, feel unwelcome or unwanted or unappreciated in my community?" So, of course, my first amendment rights mean I can say those kinds of things, without fear of police knocking down my door and dragging me off to a gulag. But, I don't want to say them, because it makes some people feel unwelcome in the conversation. Who do you believe I've made to feel unwelcome in saying that those phrases are stupid? (If the answer is, "People who enjoy saying shit that contributes to a culture of misogyny and sexism, with no one ever calling them on it." Then, I'm OK with it. It there's some other answer, I'd sincerely like to hear it.)
- wtbob 11y ago
  The thing is, I don't think that 'manned up' is something which 'contributes to a culture of misogyny and sexism'; on the contrary, I believe that it's a valuable phrase. It is objectively better to be a man than a child. Like you, I don't mind making people feel unwelcome who really are unwelcome; unlike you, I consider people who derail technical discussions ostensibly to complain about perceived bias (but really to attract attention to themselves) to be unwelcome.