3 ms·
In a way, it's like cheating on your spouse. I know folks who had a perfectly happy marriage and everything they wanted, but when someone new said, "Hey, you'r
by BrentOzar 11y ago
In a way, it's like cheating on your spouse.
I know folks who had a perfectly happy marriage and everything they wanted, but when someone new said, "Hey, you're hot - let's get together," things went off the rails. Sometimes it's not about whether you're happy - sometimes it's just the temptation that grass is greener on the other side. (And hey, sometimes it actually is.)
- cubano 11y agoYes I kept reading that angle into it as well. In fact, after a time I started wondering if the whole thing wasn't a remix of a relationship article as so many points it discusses can be easily related to them, too.
- chafir 11y agoThe difference being that with your spouse you often have an explicit promise of fidelity. You don't owe your employer yourself, they pay you for your time. I think the assumption that "accepting the coffee" equates to an assessment that the current job is unsatisfactory is not as consistently correct as the author implies. Sometimes accepting the coffee is just taking the opportunity to learn more about the ecosystem you're in. A job can satisfy you in terms of the work, the environment, and the pay, but it can't teach you what it feels like to stand somewhere with a different view. "Accepting the coffee" is an opportunity to stand there. You don't start learning a functional language because you've made an assessment that you've reached the limits of imperative languages – you learn a new language because in part because it gives you new perspective that, critically, often cannot be gained without going there yourself.