A better woodworking analogy (or parody) would be: Gentlemen, I am well aware that many woodworking shops have a FooBar2000 scrap wood burner. This shop will

A better woodworking analogy (or parody) would be: Gentlemen, I am well aware that many woodworking shops have a FooBar2000 scrap wood burner. This shop will not. I am not saying woodburners are always bad, or the FooBar2000 is individually bad. Or pretending that scrap never happens. Why I enjoy a warm toasty winter night in front of a fire like the next lad. However having a scrap wood burner implies we create scrap that needs burning. And I will not tolerate that in my shop, nor encourage other shop owners to recklessly generate scrap. Gentlemen, here we make keels of ships. The entire ship relies on this keel never breaking, creaking, cracking, groaning. Upon those ships... Lives depend. Businesses depend. Governments depend. And I will not tolerate scrap as a boat keel and all the destruction failure can cause. Therefore given that we can't afford to create scrap, we will work slowly and methodically and intelligently so as to not create scrap, and thus have nothing to burn in the FooBar2000 scrap wood burner, thus we do not need one. In the unlikely event that I or someone else make a keel that needed some scrap to be disposed of, well, if it tests good, thats OK. But I'd never tell a dude setting up his own shop that if he's going to build boat keels he badly needs a FooBar 2000 scrap wood burner because he'll probably screw up a lot, because if he's screwing up a lot, I don't want the world depending on his boat keels and I won't accept that caliber of workmanship in my shops nor stamp my name on it. Gentlemen, you may not like my opinion about your deeply held beliefs about woodworking. I sympathize. I don't agree with everyone else either. Thus I'll give you a psychological outlet by talking like a pirate for a bit now, and making light of your mother's parentage and something about elderberries. Thus if you're insulted by my technical evaluation of your woodworking skills, you can tell everyone else you're actually insulted by my talking like a pirate. Then everyone goes home happy, and the world gets safe strong indestructible boat keels.