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I share your difficulties in thinking about the topic. I feel like arrogance is one of those mushily-defined words that allows anybody to use it to describe jus
by vinceguidry 11y ago
I share your difficulties in thinking about the topic. I feel like arrogance is one of those mushily-defined words that allows anybody to use it to describe just about anything they don't like about that person.
The problem is that a person with a healthy ego will always come off as negative to some people, because that person won't shy away from confrontation the same way that the humbler majority will. I prefer words like "hubris" which better target identifiable personality defects.
That said, being needlessly confrontational over things that are personally emotional is a good way to get called arrogant. Another thing that people don't like is expression or allusion to a belief that people deserve to be in whatever social class they're in.
A good preventative antidote is to adopt a service mindset. It's hard for people to form negative opinions about people that are always being helpful. I love reading about butlers for this reason, a butler has to embody the service mindset without being humble. This juxtaposition itself is the fodder for an entire genre of books.
- mcculley 11y agoI find your butler analogy intriguing. What are your favorite such books?
- vinceguidry 11y agoMy favorite butler book is not a part of the genre, but rather a biographical account of a real butler who lived in America and served James Madison. http://www.amazon.com/Slave-White-House-Jennings-Madisons/dp/0230341985 http://www.amazon.com/Slave-White-House-Jennings-Madisons/dp... Another excellent historical account of the servant class, this time in England, is this gem: http://www.amazon.com/Servants-Downstairs-History-Britain-Nineteenth/dp/0393241092 http://www.amazon.com/Servants-Downstairs-History-Britain-Ni... I have not actually read any of the butler novels that I mentioned but the one I hear mentioned every time this topic comes up is The Inimitable Jeeves: http://www.amazon.com/Inimitable-Jeeves-Wooster-Book-ebook/dp/B0052FYPVS/ http://www.amazon.com/Inimitable-Jeeves-Wooster-Book-ebook/d... Articles crop up from time to time about modern butlery, which is enjoying a renaissance as Chinese billionaires search for ever more gaudy ways to spend their vast fortunes, like this recent GQ piece: http://www.gq.com/story/rich-billionaires-butlers-servants http://www.gq.com/story/rich-billionaires-butlers-servants