I'm not disagreeing, but the analogy I would counter with is that a person can control how much they drink in order to feel drunk, but that person can never con

I'm not disagreeing, but the analogy I would counter with is that a person can control how much they drink in order to feel drunk, but that person can never control the drunken feeling. Similarly, a person may meet lots of potential partners and might even fall for many of them, but this person will never be able to control the love feeling. To the extent that they believe they can is self-deception. Yet they can always choose to walk away from the person just like a person can choose to stop drinking.