I’ll tell you how “I” did it. I was raised as a Christian, but when I was 18 I gave it up. It was a matter of conscience. I didn’t believe. As you said, I t

I’ll tell you how “I” did it. I was raised as a Christian, but when I was 18 I gave it up. It was a matter of conscience. I didn’t believe. As you said, I thought it was irrational. But as it turned out, my rationality and extraordinary intelligence just gave me the ability to screw up my life that much more. I was miserable and empty, not because of my circumstances, but because of me. I sucked. That changed when I turned my life over to Christ at age 29. I still sucked, but it wasn’t about me. I still suck even today at age 53. But it is absolutely OK, because I’m not trusting in myself. I’m trusting in Christ. God’s grace did it. I didn’t do it. It was “easy” because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I hope you can get back to that place, littletimmy. I’m rooting for you. Let me know if you want to talk more.