look, on a productivity level, everyone else is right: you're barely past the beginning of your life. I went through an almost total reset of my life for a coup

look, on a productivity level, everyone else is right: you're barely past the beginning of your life. I went through an almost total reset of my life for a couple of years after the first dotcom implosion, and I can tell you that its absolutely likely that you'll come out of it just fine. I've dropped out of college (twice!), gone through a list of terrible relationships, shitty jobs, great jobs, less great jobs, better relationships, had a kid, gotten divorced, and now getting married again and on top of my career (and have been for awhile). But that's not really what you have to worry about right now. What's most clear to me looking at your post is that your language indicates a very deep depression, and until that's under some semblance of control or treatment you're likely to continue feeling helpless in your life. I hate it when people try to diagnose each other on HN, so I don't want to go further down that line, other than to say you really need to find a doctor or counselor who can help you in a concrete way. The rest of us here are just going to be making recommendations in a vacuum. Only someone you're actually connected with in the physical world can effectively help you get through this. But the takeaway from the rest of us is that a lot of us have been through similar and come out ok and even great. I hope things get better for you.