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Did this last night. Wife was having trouble with a financials spreadsheet from work, and asked me to help out. I took a look, and although I didn't know the a

Did this last night. Wife was having trouble with a financials spreadsheet from work, and asked me to help out. I took a look, and although I didn't know the actual content, it was clear to me what the kind of error must be, and how to correctly design a spreadsheet so that such errors are easily identifiable. She said she didn't know that the incoming data might be problematic; I replied that one must always treat all inputs as untrusted. She said that XYZ gave it to her; I said be defensive against bad data even if I give it to you. Anyway... the whole thing turned into a conflict, when I could have just said "I'm glad I could help you this time".

ajtaylor 17y ago
Ummm, you just described half my married life! :-) Perhaps I should take a hint...
- electromagnetic 17y ago
  I feel guilty, my married life isn't like that. My unmarried life, ironically, was frequently like that. I believe my wife just came to accept certain annoying parts of my personality, like I accepted annoying parts of hers. She accepted sci-fi, I accepted chick-flicks and certain reality TV programs. My wife now frequently turns to me when she hears "facts", I've become a sort of a content filter for facts and trivia; not to mention an encyclopaedia too. I've still got to teach her a true understanding of the universe and our solar system, but I learnt all that by being a sci-fi nerd from when my dad showed me Star Wars at like 3. I've literally got almost two decades on her on that front.
araneae 17y ago
This is not a case of inaccuracy. This is a case of you accusing her of being the problem and her defending herself. How could that not lead to an argument?
- jodrellblank 17y ago
  Because he's not accusing her of being the problem, he's accusing her current behaviour of being poor and improvable. A case of accusing the sin, not the sinner, if you like. It's not an attack on her, they can both gang up together and attack the behaviour that leads to those errors. Well, they could if she thought of it like that.
  - CWuestefeld 17y ago
    That was pretty much it. That and the idea, mentioned elsewhere, that when something is wrong it just has to be fixed. She's my wife, I know she's a smart lady and has every potential of doing this well. If I could just show her a better way, how wonderful the world would be. Well, that's the theory anyway.

ajtaylor 17y ago

Ummm, you just described half my married life! :-) Perhaps I should take a hint...

electromagnetic 17y ago
I feel guilty, my married life isn't like that. My unmarried life, ironically, was frequently like that. I believe my wife just came to accept certain annoying parts of my personality, like I accepted annoying parts of hers. She accepted sci-fi, I accepted chick-flicks and certain reality TV programs. My wife now frequently turns to me when she hears "facts", I've become a sort of a content filter for facts and trivia; not to mention an encyclopaedia too. I've still got to teach her a true understanding of the universe and our solar system, but I learnt all that by being a sci-fi nerd from when my dad showed me Star Wars at like 3. I've literally got almost two decades on her on that front.

araneae 17y ago

This is not a case of inaccuracy. This is a case of you accusing her of being the problem and her defending herself. How could that not lead to an argument?

jodrellblank 17y ago
Because he's not accusing her of being the problem, he's accusing her current behaviour of being poor and improvable. A case of accusing the sin, not the sinner, if you like. It's not an attack on her, they can both gang up together and attack the behaviour that leads to those errors. Well, they could if she thought of it like that.
- CWuestefeld 17y ago
  That was pretty much it. That and the idea, mentioned elsewhere, that when something is wrong it just has to be fixed. She's my wife, I know she's a smart lady and has every potential of doing this well. If I could just show her a better way, how wonderful the world would be. Well, that's the theory anyway.