5 ms·

I completely suck at turn-talking, even when actively trying to anticipate when my 'antagonist' wants to say something. Does anyone have actual tips for improvi

• mrtron 17y ago
  Practice.
• sp332 17y ago
  A sharp intake of breath is a pretty solid indicator. The more pronounced it is, the more agitated they are that you're still talking. (Unless they're just yawning.) Looking away for a while and suddenly looking back with their mouth open slightly can also be an indicator. If they have their mouths closed tightly, they're deciding whether to interject, so you might want to check a sentence or two later to see if they've made up their minds.
  • sketerpot 17y ago
    I have the opposite problem: I'm bad at knowing when I can take a turn (so I end up being very quiet) and when it obviously is my turn to talk, I often can't think of anything to say.
  • thirdusername 17y ago
    I love your comment, it's really informative and just what I need. Do you have any suggestions of references (online or offline) where a layman can learn more about social queues? :)
    • sp332 17y ago
      Unfortuately, I don't. I learned these from years of frustration when I was a kid. I had hoped that my comment would get other people to post, but :-/ And it's cues, not queues :-)
      • nitrogen 17y ago
        In true geek form, of all the posts to which I wanted to reply, I couldn't resist pointing out that "queues" could technically be correct in this context, as in message queuing in a conversation.
• scott_s 17y ago
  Don't think of the person you're having a conversation with as an antagonist.
• deebee 17y ago
  One confusing thing it usually a long mmm-hmmm sound, especially one that goes down in tone from high to low, indicates that the person is interested and wants you to keep speaking- however, a short, sharp "mmm" that rises in tone can mean "Oh, I just thought of something I'd like to say". Also, consider where in a conversation you are- you should be taking shorter turns when you are just beginning to talk to someone. If a person asks you "How are you doing" or "What have you been up to lately?" you should give them a quick summary and then ask them the same question. This is assuming that it's a social situation where you expect a conversation- don't return the question if your boss asks you what you've been doing, and don't answer at length if the question is just a social nicety. The cashier in the grocery store doesn't want a detailed answer to "How are you today?", you should just say "I'm fine, how are you?" Hope that makes sense.
• deebee 17y ago
  Oh, and on a related note- the "quick summary and then return the question" method works for more than just introductions. A lot of times people will ask you a question as a way of introducing a topic they want to talk about- "How was your weekend?" can mean "Something really exciting happened to me this past weekend and I want to talk about it". If they actually want to hear about your weekend then they will give a quick summary and then prompt you to elaborate on your answer, in which case you can go into more detail.