4 ms·

As the father of an autism-spectrum daughter, I find your insights very enlightening.

usmeteora 11y ago
Depending on how young your daughter is, especially if she is still a child or preteen, I strongly recommend searching "female asbergers books" on Amazon and reviewing ratings for yourselves but there are alot of books for parents about aspie girls, what to expect, how to empower them, and most importantly, how to keep them safe. Female aspies are empaths actually, which is counter intuitive to people not familiar with all of this, which makes them huge targets not just for casual bullying and being outcasted by girly girls, but for more sinister reasons as well. Even being older, empaths are the perfect codependent counter type for narcissists and other wise sociopaths and psychopaths. They have affective empathy (empty shallow charming ability to pretend to have emptathy) but crave raw empathy which is what aspie girls have an abundance of (google intense world theory, applies to both male and females for autism). This coupled with (I edited in my original comment in more detail) a females aspies or any autistic females tendency to be just incredibly naive about peoples emotions and their intentions, is a disaster waiting to happen. Going to school in a male dominated environment with an unusual number of anti social personalities (introverts --> engineering...) I was the perfect target so sociopathic men and there were alot of them around me. It's not surprising in RETROSPECT that a year ago I got out of a long term relationship with a verifiable sociopath for all the reasons I just said. After educating myself about all of this I wish I had read some of these aspie books for young females when I was younger and I could have protected myself from a lot of toxic situations. Now, I volunteer in aspie programs teaching young girls how to code. Alot of aspie women can't keep good jobs because they are "rude and bossy" or not charming enough or "creepy and quiet". Luckily for me my skill set is in high need and objectively evaluated for the most part (can't argue with me if I produce your code on time) so I thought it would be incredibly empowering to build girls with this confidence and self esteem, and potentially the ability to arm themselves with solid careers/technical skillsets that overpower an HR departments ability for a 26 yr old girl wearing designer clothes and paid to be charming to evaluate a nerdy antisocial girl on her "overall performance" if actually she is an objectively solid and valued individual contributer and has code to show it. If she is young I would recommend fostering her hobbies as much as possible and encouraging "structured playtime" for whatever her interests are. With channeling and encouragement (for all the people who post successful autistic women as a reason to doubt they have it at all) aspies including aspie girls can become MASTERS at the things they are obsessed with. Turns out, successful people are typically successfully because they love what they do, they have infectious passion and they are GOOD at it, and can spend hours uninterupted developing their product or building their empire, so actually aspie women are the perfect character trait combination then for successful people, if they can have emotional support through their difficulties with social interactions while being encouraged to do what other people call "active but odd obsessions" because that could be the talent that makes or inspires her career one day, or maybe even her company that she starts.
- someone7x 11y ago
  Hmm, very interesting. I'll take your advice and look into books on this topic. I don't think I ever considered the interaction with 'bad insincere'-type personalities as being additionally worrisome, but I suppose it makes sense.
- bootload 11y ago
  @usmeteora great comments here. "I was the perfect target so sociopathic men and there were alot of them around me. It's not surprising in RETROSPECT that a year ago I got out of a long term relationship with a verifiable sociopath for all the reasons I just said." Read "Dangerous Personalities", Navarro.J. [0],[1] Navarro details a forensic checklist to identify personalities like this. I've got this book and it gives you a numerical score to ID said personalities, along personality types you've listed, and a few more. Forewarned is forearmed. [0] http://www.jnforensics.com/#!books/cnec http://www.jnforensics.com/#!books/cnec [1] http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Identify-Yourself/dp/1623361923/ http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Ident...
  - usmeteora 11y ago
    This is so funny, but I actually just finished that book 2 days ago. Along with about 10 other books over the past few months about antisocial personality disorders and Autism, Asbergers, Females with Asbergers. My way of grieving through it was to read and learn everything I could about myself and my ex. Thank you! I'm also reading/have finished reading in the past few months: The Empathy Trap Safe People Without A Conscience Trauma and Memory Women Who Love Psychopaths Social Engineering Whos Pulling your strings In Sheeps Clothing From your recommendation which is the first one I heard of, I found these highly reviewed books on Amazon in the recommended section after you search that book.
    - bootload 11y ago
      "This is so funny, but I actually just finished that book 2 days ago." Did you find out any diagnosis or observations you didn't recognise? I suggest you also read WEBIS and work at reading body language.[0] WEBIS is an API of human body language. I read an interview on the book, DP, before I purchased it a year ago and Mr.Navarro made a comment in the interview that it was hard to write. I actually asked him why? His answer wasn't that revealing. I was just curious. After reading the book, [1],[2] I now know why. If you have any specific questions, ask Mr.Navarro at http://twitter.com/navarrotells http://twitter.com/navarrotells [0] Read, "What EverBody Is Saying" WEBIS for specific examples of body language. Got this one as well. [1] Cf: Time spent at Brigham Young University. (Read the book). [2] http://money.cnn.com/2015/10/27/news/economy/joe-navarro-cuban-refugee-fbi/ http://money.cnn.com/2015/10/27/news/economy/joe-navarro-cub...

Depending on how young your daughter is, especially if she is still a child or preteen, I strongly recommend searching "female asbergers books" on Amazon and reviewing ratings for yourselves but there are alot of books for parents about aspie girls, what to expect, how to empower them, and most importantly, how to keep them safe. Female aspies are empaths actually, which is counter intuitive to people not familiar with all of this, which makes them huge targets not just for casual bullying and being outcasted by girly girls, but for more sinister reasons as well. Even being older, empaths are the perfect codependent counter type for narcissists and other wise sociopaths and psychopaths. They have affective empathy (empty shallow charming ability to pretend to have emptathy) but crave raw empathy which is what aspie girls have an abundance of (google intense world theory, applies to both male and females for autism). This coupled with (I edited in my original comment in more detail) a females aspies or any autistic females tendency to be just incredibly naive about peoples emotions and their intentions, is a disaster waiting to happen. Going to school in a male dominated environment with an unusual number of anti social personalities (introverts --> engineering...) I was the perfect target so sociopathic men and there were alot of them around me. It's not surprising in RETROSPECT that a year ago I got out of a long term relationship with a verifiable sociopath for all the reasons I just said. After educating myself about all of this I wish I had read some of these aspie books for young females when I was younger and I could have protected myself from a lot of toxic situations. Now, I volunteer in aspie programs teaching young girls how to code. Alot of aspie women can't keep good jobs because they are "rude and bossy" or not charming enough or "creepy and quiet". Luckily for me my skill set is in high need and objectively evaluated for the most part (can't argue with me if I produce your code on time) so I thought it would be incredibly empowering to build girls with this confidence and self esteem, and potentially the ability to arm themselves with solid careers/technical skillsets that overpower an HR departments ability for a 26 yr old girl wearing designer clothes and paid to be charming to evaluate a nerdy antisocial girl on her "overall performance" if actually she is an objectively solid and valued individual contributer and has code to show it. If she is young I would recommend fostering her hobbies as much as possible and encouraging "structured playtime" for whatever her interests are. With channeling and encouragement (for all the people who post successful autistic women as a reason to doubt they have it at all) aspies including aspie girls can become MASTERS at the things they are obsessed with. Turns out, successful people are typically successfully because they love what they do, they have infectious passion and they are GOOD at it, and can spend hours uninterupted developing their product or building their empire, so actually aspie women are the perfect character trait combination then for successful people, if they can have emotional support through their difficulties with social interactions while being encouraged to do what other people call "active but odd obsessions" because that could be the talent that makes or inspires her career one day, or maybe even her company that she starts.

someone7x 11y ago
Hmm, very interesting. I'll take your advice and look into books on this topic. I don't think I ever considered the interaction with 'bad insincere'-type personalities as being additionally worrisome, but I suppose it makes sense.
bootload 11y ago
@usmeteora great comments here. "I was the perfect target so sociopathic men and there were alot of them around me. It's not surprising in RETROSPECT that a year ago I got out of a long term relationship with a verifiable sociopath for all the reasons I just said." Read "Dangerous Personalities", Navarro.J. [0],[1] Navarro details a forensic checklist to identify personalities like this. I've got this book and it gives you a numerical score to ID said personalities, along personality types you've listed, and a few more. Forewarned is forearmed. [0] http://www.jnforensics.com/#!books/cnec http://www.jnforensics.com/#!books/cnec [1] http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Identify-Yourself/dp/1623361923/ http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Ident...
- usmeteora 11y ago
  This is so funny, but I actually just finished that book 2 days ago. Along with about 10 other books over the past few months about antisocial personality disorders and Autism, Asbergers, Females with Asbergers. My way of grieving through it was to read and learn everything I could about myself and my ex. Thank you! I'm also reading/have finished reading in the past few months: The Empathy Trap Safe People Without A Conscience Trauma and Memory Women Who Love Psychopaths Social Engineering Whos Pulling your strings In Sheeps Clothing From your recommendation which is the first one I heard of, I found these highly reviewed books on Amazon in the recommended section after you search that book.
  - bootload 11y ago
    "This is so funny, but I actually just finished that book 2 days ago." Did you find out any diagnosis or observations you didn't recognise? I suggest you also read WEBIS and work at reading body language.[0] WEBIS is an API of human body language. I read an interview on the book, DP, before I purchased it a year ago and Mr.Navarro made a comment in the interview that it was hard to write. I actually asked him why? His answer wasn't that revealing. I was just curious. After reading the book, [1],[2] I now know why. If you have any specific questions, ask Mr.Navarro at http://twitter.com/navarrotells http://twitter.com/navarrotells [0] Read, "What EverBody Is Saying" WEBIS for specific examples of body language. Got this one as well. [1] Cf: Time spent at Brigham Young University. (Read the book). [2] http://money.cnn.com/2015/10/27/news/economy/joe-navarro-cuban-refugee-fbi/ http://money.cnn.com/2015/10/27/news/economy/joe-navarro-cub...