4 ms·
My experience is different. This meme gets repeated a lot on the internet, but it jars with the stories I hear from my friends. Yes, someone not attractive is
by ZoFreX 11y ago
My experience is different. This meme gets repeated a lot on the internet, but it jars with the stories I hear from my friends.
Yes, someone not attractive is more likely to be considered creepy - but that's correlation, not causation. Being creepy is extremely unattractive!
An example, which is by no means an outlier: A friend of mine met a man. The man is very attractive, in the particular way that the woman in this story likes, and they had some key common interests. She was extremely attracted to him in short order.
Then he did something creepy. Bam, not attractive anymore. There was no immunity conferred by the other attractive qualities - being creepy was unattractive enough that he was no longer considered attractive.
It is a rather sad fact that many... "socially less capable" people can be a bit oblivious of how their actions seem to other people, and the dividing line between flirty and creepy. Without the necessary skills to tell the difference, it does appear that this distinction is arbitrary, or predicated on other variables (e.g. visual attractiveness).
- etiene 11y agoI agree with this, this happened to me quite a few times
- diabeetusman 11y agoIt's not a rule, just a general guideline. I don't think people are arguing that nothing an attractive person does can be construed as creepy; rather, some things that would be unacceptable as an unattractive person can be acceptable as an attractive one.
- nether 11y agoThere seems to be a large divergence between women's spoken preferences and observed preferences. It's like my very sympathetic female friend who says she would date a short guy, while she never has. My sister says plenty of women like asian men, while she has only dated white men. Women roundly ridicule men's shirtless photos on dating sites, except OkCupid showed that these photos attract women very effectively: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile.... Even Brene Brown discovered that while women spoke of their desire for a sensitive, vulnerable man, in reality they were actually repulsed by it: https://www.quora.com/Why-are-some-women-repulsed-by-male-vulnerability-as-discovered-by-Brené-Brown https://www.quora.com/Why-are-some-women-repulsed-by-male-vu.... I could go on. I think there's some toxic puritanism that makes women feel compelled to act as the "fairer," more virtuous and less carnal gender. But the data show that women want big, strong, virile men to lean on to this day.
- deleted 11y ago[deleted]