I used to get these tension headaches while waiting to be shouted at. Being shouted at was a relief - switch off, nod nod. Running around and around carrying so

I used to get these tension headaches while waiting to be shouted at. Being shouted at was a relief - switch off, nod nod. Running around and around carrying something heavy after the shouting was relaxing; while I was doing that, I could switch off. There wouldn't be any shouting while I was running around and around carrying something heavy. I realised I was being conditioned to seek out being shouted at.