I like to think of Gravity as a result of mass deforming space in the same way a brown turd deforms toilet water as it spins inevitably toward the outlet during

I like to think of Gravity as a result of mass deforming space in the same way a brown turd deforms toilet water as it spins inevitably toward the outlet during flushing. Standing atop the turd you are affixed to its mass, but the entire system is affixed to the spinning, evacuating forces of the great flush. The Bono/Kurick South Park episode was instrumental in this theory's formulation.