Honestly, accidental discomfort is part of being grown up. To try to regulate that is IMO both patronizing and counter productive. We need some level of frictio

Honestly, accidental discomfort is part of being grown up. To try to regulate that is IMO both patronizing and counter productive. We need some level of friction to socialize. A CoC that lets well-meant actions become crimes is worse than no CoC at all. I explain this in my article: certain people will use poorly-designed tools to harass. The key to solving this mess is, and I stick by it, to separate accidental clumsiness from predatory behavior. There is no grey overlap. Once you separate these two, you can teach people to trust each other much more, while being properly cynical of the small slice of predators. This isn't hypothesis: we use this approach in our open source communities to encourage and thrive on honest mistake while watching for, and blocking predatory actions. I may add a piece to the protocol along the lines of, "Tolerance means accepting that people make mistakes, and working with them instead of treating this as a violation."