Firstly, your typical shared space (dorm, apartment) is designed to be cheap and you probably hear your neighbors through the walls. This isn't a requirement.

Firstly, your typical shared space (dorm, apartment) is designed to be cheap and you probably hear your neighbors through the walls. This isn't a requirement. Secondly (this is more a theory), having a roomie is often just too informal to settle on and enforce social contracts for public spaces. Yeah man, I'll clean the dishes. (Never cleans the dishes). Although in college, I used to have the apartment where people just showed up randomly and chilled / did homework / played a game for 10 mins and leave (or crash on the couch). They'd help clean the place, were free to leave some food in the fridge and such and were generally very respectful. Donate an N64 or a sound system to the cause.Turned out my roomie hated it and never said anything, but it worked well for me. I just don't like it when people feel like a 'guest' or I'm treated like a 'guest'. It's uncomfortable. Nowadays it's rude (and time consuming) to just drop by and I rarely see my friends on weekdays. Then they offer me drinks and such and theres a weird formaility to it that I don't enjoy at all. I think we need a 'third place', effectively a community hangout where everyone feels they have some sort of shared ownership and you can also expect people to be there regularly. The closest example I've found is our local hackerspace, but the audience for that is somewhat limited.