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You know, I'm perfectly capable of explaining why I do things. Look at what you've done here: you've taken away my agency. Instead of letting me engage in a co

You know, I'm perfectly capable of explaining why I do things. Look at what you've done here: you've taken away my agency. Instead of letting me engage in a conversation, you've pronounced some over-arching reason for my comment, thereby not only eliminating anything I might have to offer, but wiping aside any category of comment that is similar to mine. Gotta watch that. It's perfect fine for an internal dialog. After all, we can't take a year to figure out what everybody we run into is thinking, but in an open conversation, well, the important thing is to converse. Who knows, each of us might learn something. "...Thinking about this stuff is hard...." -- It hurts, but somehow I'll manage.

beat 11y ago
1. My point was that you can't always explain why you do things. That "you" isn't personal, btw. It's true of everyone, myself included. We all respond according to our social conditioning. Thinking we're so smart that social conditioning doesn't apply is stupid. 2. I haven't taken away your agency, or rejected you from conversation. We're conversing right now, aren't we? And yes, we might learn something. Are you learning, or just reacting to perceived criticism? In the first paragraph of my original comment, I explicitly excluded you from the broad discussion of racism I went into. I shouldn't have to do that, it should be obvious. But one thing I've learned in these discussions is that people take things personally when they shouldn't, then immediately make the rest of the discussion all about themselves. Which is exactly what you did here. We're not talking about either the "few bad apples" you raised, or the problems of social conditioning that I raised. We're talking about how offended you are that I spoke up at all. If you can learn anything from this, learn to be aware of the risk of doing that. It's an incredibly frustrating thing for those on the other end. It's a major reason why women and minorities are very wary of discussing sexism and racism with white men. (And no, I'm not accusing you of being sexist or racist, so stop right there.)
- DanielBMarkham 11y ago
  Thank you. I'm leaving my comment in place. It shows a nice example of not paying careful attention to the conversation. Too much of that on the net already.

beat 11y ago

1. My point was that you can't always explain why you do things. That "you" isn't personal, btw. It's true of everyone, myself included. We all respond according to our social conditioning. Thinking we're so smart that social conditioning doesn't apply is stupid. 2. I haven't taken away your agency, or rejected you from conversation. We're conversing right now, aren't we? And yes, we might learn something. Are you learning, or just reacting to perceived criticism? In the first paragraph of my original comment, I explicitly excluded you from the broad discussion of racism I went into. I shouldn't have to do that, it should be obvious. But one thing I've learned in these discussions is that people take things personally when they shouldn't, then immediately make the rest of the discussion all about themselves. Which is exactly what you did here. We're not talking about either the "few bad apples" you raised, or the problems of social conditioning that I raised. We're talking about how offended you are that I spoke up at all. If you can learn anything from this, learn to be aware of the risk of doing that. It's an incredibly frustrating thing for those on the other end. It's a major reason why women and minorities are very wary of discussing sexism and racism with white men. (And no, I'm not accusing you of being sexist or racist, so stop right there.)

DanielBMarkham 11y ago
Thank you. I'm leaving my comment in place. It shows a nice example of not paying careful attention to the conversation. Too much of that on the net already.