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That article needed a little bit more massaging by the editors. Lots of sentences like this: > " In the post-2008 period, much buying of buildings is to destro

That article needed a little bit more massaging by the editors. Lots of sentences like this: > " In the post-2008 period, much buying of buildings is to destroy them and replace them with far taller, far more corporate and luxurious types of buildings – basically, luxury offices and luxury apartments" > "All of this cannot happen in a business park, regardless of its density – they are privately controlled spaces where low-wage workers can work, but not “make”. " I mean, am I the only one reading this thing and shaking my head after each paragraph wondering what it was that I read, exactly?

DanielBMarkham 11y ago
You are not alone. I bailed out after only a few graphs. I parsed "...Cities are the spaces where those without power get to make a history and a culture, thereby making their powerlessness complex..." a few times, then moved on, thinking it would clear up later. It did not. I wasn't sure I agreed with the author or not. I wasn't sure whether "complex" was being used as an adjective or a noun. After a bit more of that nonsense, I decided it wasn't worth figuring out. This is really simple. Write for your grandma. It's great that you've absorbed some rather complex ideas in your travels, and we'd love to hear about them. But if you can't write for your grandma, you shouldn't be writing for a large audience. I'll go even further and say that even if you're writing for an audience who is up to speed on whatever it is you like going on about, you should still back-track on some of the more nuanced topics and explain it like I'm 5. Many times a group of professionals will all think they have the same understanding of a subject -- until they actually start expounding on it.
- Pyxl101 11y ago
  That sentence almost sounds like a garden path sentence. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_path_sentence https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_path_sentence
padobson 11y ago
Completely agree. I don't usually edit things I read, but this paragraph... I want to examine the details of this large corporate investment surge, and why it matters. Cities are the spaces where those without power get to make a history and a culture, thereby making their powerlessness complex. If the current large-scale buying continues, we will lose this type of making that has given our cities their cosmopolitanism. ...loses absolutely nothing if you lop off the entire first sentence. Whoever was editing this fell asleep at the switch.
- a3n 11y ago
  Do we still have blue pencil editors in daily publications? I've assumed not for years.

DanielBMarkham 11y ago

You are not alone. I bailed out after only a few graphs. I parsed "...Cities are the spaces where those without power get to make a history and a culture, thereby making their powerlessness complex..." a few times, then moved on, thinking it would clear up later. It did not. I wasn't sure I agreed with the author or not. I wasn't sure whether "complex" was being used as an adjective or a noun. After a bit more of that nonsense, I decided it wasn't worth figuring out. This is really simple. Write for your grandma. It's great that you've absorbed some rather complex ideas in your travels, and we'd love to hear about them. But if you can't write for your grandma, you shouldn't be writing for a large audience. I'll go even further and say that even if you're writing for an audience who is up to speed on whatever it is you like going on about, you should still back-track on some of the more nuanced topics and explain it like I'm 5. Many times a group of professionals will all think they have the same understanding of a subject -- until they actually start expounding on it.

Pyxl101 11y ago
That sentence almost sounds like a garden path sentence. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_path_sentence https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_path_sentence

padobson 11y ago

Completely agree. I don't usually edit things I read, but this paragraph... I want to examine the details of this large corporate investment surge, and why it matters. Cities are the spaces where those without power get to make a history and a culture, thereby making their powerlessness complex. If the current large-scale buying continues, we will lose this type of making that has given our cities their cosmopolitanism. ...loses absolutely nothing if you lop off the entire first sentence. Whoever was editing this fell asleep at the switch.

a3n 11y ago
Do we still have blue pencil editors in daily publications? I've assumed not for years.