4 ms·

In my, to be fair limited, experience I haven't seen any of what you've described. My peers and I aren't avoiding children because of some fear of investment, b

In my, to be fair limited, experience I haven't seen any of what you've described. My peers and I aren't avoiding children because of some fear of investment, but rather a stark understanding of how non-trivial child rearing is. We've watched our, generally well educated and well meaning, parents do a number on us and don't feel confident bringing in spawn to inflict the same, or new, mistakes on. Watching how much better my parents', and others in their generation, lives have gotten now that the kids are out of the house, I can't really say envy or desire their experience over the past 25 years in the slightest.

dogma1138 11y ago
The problem with that if everyone will act this way, the world or at least the western world will die out within a couple of generation. Europe is already beyond the point of no-return excluding immigration. It's a bit of a shitty place we put ourselves in and I'm just as selfish as you to be fair. I come home from work why would the hell would i want to change diapers instead of going to the gym, playing some games, or doing any other activity. That said if i think about it I would've been much rather be 40 when the kids move out, then what now would be 50+, give it a couple of more years and it will be 60+. Our parents at least had for the most part the bright idea and had kids in their early 20's now they can have their fun and laugh at us when we'll be still changing diapers at the age they sent us off to college and went on their around the world trip.
- tptacek 11y ago
  My kids are in high school, and my oldest is applying to college soon, and while I feel a lot of relief that I don't have any diaper changing in my immediate future (unlike a lot of my male friends around my age who do), the "getting my freedom back now that the kids are moving out" thing is bittersweet, and maybe even a little more bitter than sweet. I kind of wish I had, like, years 6-12 again; I'd trade another 6 years of not being able to go out absolutely any time I want to for that. I'd have to think about it but I might even trade a few years of that for a couple more teenage years. Maybe I'll feel differently once I "have my freedom back". :P Worth remembering: the diaper changing thing is over in the blink of an eye (it doesn't feel like that at the time, but you will look back and be amazed at how quickly it shot by), and by the time your kids are teenagers they're pretty low-maintenance --- at least in terms of being able to go out drinking when you want to.
tptacek 11y ago
Something I think pretty much every parent eventually realizes is that no matter how carefully you plan and execute your job of child-rearing, you're going to do some kind of number on your kids. Not knowing exactly how to raise kids "correctly" is not a very good reason to avoid raising kids. On the other hand, feeling no calling whatsoever to raise kids, and/or not being in a stable relationship with a partner to share the burden, are pretty decent reasons not to have kids right this minute.

dogma1138 11y ago

The problem with that if everyone will act this way, the world or at least the western world will die out within a couple of generation. Europe is already beyond the point of no-return excluding immigration. It's a bit of a shitty place we put ourselves in and I'm just as selfish as you to be fair. I come home from work why would the hell would i want to change diapers instead of going to the gym, playing some games, or doing any other activity. That said if i think about it I would've been much rather be 40 when the kids move out, then what now would be 50+, give it a couple of more years and it will be 60+. Our parents at least had for the most part the bright idea and had kids in their early 20's now they can have their fun and laugh at us when we'll be still changing diapers at the age they sent us off to college and went on their around the world trip.

tptacek 11y ago
My kids are in high school, and my oldest is applying to college soon, and while I feel a lot of relief that I don't have any diaper changing in my immediate future (unlike a lot of my male friends around my age who do), the "getting my freedom back now that the kids are moving out" thing is bittersweet, and maybe even a little more bitter than sweet. I kind of wish I had, like, years 6-12 again; I'd trade another 6 years of not being able to go out absolutely any time I want to for that. I'd have to think about it but I might even trade a few years of that for a couple more teenage years. Maybe I'll feel differently once I "have my freedom back". :P Worth remembering: the diaper changing thing is over in the blink of an eye (it doesn't feel like that at the time, but you will look back and be amazed at how quickly it shot by), and by the time your kids are teenagers they're pretty low-maintenance --- at least in terms of being able to go out drinking when you want to.

tptacek 11y ago

Something I think pretty much every parent eventually realizes is that no matter how carefully you plan and execute your job of child-rearing, you're going to do some kind of number on your kids. Not knowing exactly how to raise kids "correctly" is not a very good reason to avoid raising kids. On the other hand, feeling no calling whatsoever to raise kids, and/or not being in a stable relationship with a partner to share the burden, are pretty decent reasons not to have kids right this minute.