5 ms·

I'm five years out from this and still remember the stress. Students are now asked to give up their present for a chance at a good future.

ossreality 11y ago
Yes. I did this. And then the day after graduating had an extreme realization that I had no idea why I was doing anything. I'd been on autopilot for the last 9 years. Ran myself into the ground in highschool to graduate top of the class. Killed myself in college to graduate with honors and have a job before graduating. And then I graduated and realized that the next 40 years were in front of me. I didn't know what I wanted for myself. I had "achieved it!". I had graduated and had a job that would secure me more money than I would know what to do with, but I didn't know how to make myself happy. I didn't know how to pace myself. I still don't. When I get an exciting project at work, I pour my god damn soul into it. And I love it. And then three months later I come up for air and realize that a word outside of my computer exists... and then I spend a week re-normalizing and getting to the point where I could walk outside and appreciate fresh air instead of thinking about where I needed to be in X + 10 minutes. Some of it's on me. I grew up in a high-strung household with parents that are currently having anxiety problems because retirement is in the future and they don't know "what to do". rantier part: Fuck the older generations that shit talk on millenials. I KNOW you weren't working your asses off like this in highschool and college, and I'm sick of hearing you toot your own horn because your mind is addled and you've forgotten your teen and twenties' years. I still don't know how to truly relax and be happy. A week of vacation for me translates into about 2 days of actual relaxation. The first 5 days are spent going "wait, what the hell do I do now?"
- deadc0de 11y ago
  Being passionate and dare I say obsessive about you work is good. I fact, it's the only way to achieve good results. That's what separates hackers from people that just go to work.
  - emp_zealoth 11y ago
    There should be some balance. I do similar shit and i stay up till I absolutely have to go to bed, then I can't sleep for 2 hours, despite quite strong sleeping/calming drugs, because I'm coding/doing PCB layout/whatever in my brain still
IndianAstronaut 11y ago
I really do wonder if these students really achieve that much more than those who have a more balanced schedule.
JHSheridan 11y ago
> Students are now asked to give up their present for a chance at a good future. So... an investment?
- xhdjejxjx 11y ago
  It's more than that, unless you consider investing your physical health part of the deal too. As a current mechanical engineering junior, the expectations have gotten really quite insane. In order to graduate on time you have to be taking 15-18 credits of the hardest classes offered at university. Right now I'm in an 18 credit semester, and next I will be taking 17 credits. Currently I'm in fluid mechanics, finite element analysis, engineering statistics, thermodynamics, and advanced multivariable calculus. I average about 4-5 hours of sleep. The level of stress associated with this major is making me lose my hair at 20 years old, and I've also developed this weird problem where I profusely vomit several times a day.
  - tass 11y ago
    You should talk to a school counsellor about the load. What is the worst that can happen if you don't graduate on time? I'm asking because i don't actually know... Talk to a doctor about the other problems you're having - if it's stress related you'll at least have some evidence to back you up if you discuss workload with your school.
    - xhdjejxjx 11y ago
      But you don't understand: that's what everyone else in the program is doing too.
      - will_pseudonym 11y ago
        You are risking your life to keep up with the Joneses. It's not worth it.
      - thephyber 11y ago
        What does what "everyone else is doing" have to do with _your_ personal physical and mental health? Take an honest appraisal of what you think you can do and talk it over with both your major counselor and a school nurse. If your body or mental health can't handle it, take it down a notch and consider dropping a course and retaking it the next semester/quarter. Half of the controversy of the suicides based on parental+peer pressure and competition is that the demands will never plateau or fall. They will continue to rise above the abilities of more than 99% of the people who enter the competition. There is no supply/demand curve where parents/peers and you will magically find an equilibrium. Learn to have your own expectations, independent of your parents and peers.

ossreality 11y ago

Yes. I did this. And then the day after graduating had an extreme realization that I had no idea why I was doing anything. I'd been on autopilot for the last 9 years. Ran myself into the ground in highschool to graduate top of the class. Killed myself in college to graduate with honors and have a job before graduating. And then I graduated and realized that the next 40 years were in front of me. I didn't know what I wanted for myself. I had "achieved it!". I had graduated and had a job that would secure me more money than I would know what to do with, but I didn't know how to make myself happy. I didn't know how to pace myself. I still don't. When I get an exciting project at work, I pour my god damn soul into it. And I love it. And then three months later I come up for air and realize that a word outside of my computer exists... and then I spend a week re-normalizing and getting to the point where I could walk outside and appreciate fresh air instead of thinking about where I needed to be in X + 10 minutes. Some of it's on me. I grew up in a high-strung household with parents that are currently having anxiety problems because retirement is in the future and they don't know "what to do". rantier part: Fuck the older generations that shit talk on millenials. I KNOW you weren't working your asses off like this in highschool and college, and I'm sick of hearing you toot your own horn because your mind is addled and you've forgotten your teen and twenties' years. I still don't know how to truly relax and be happy. A week of vacation for me translates into about 2 days of actual relaxation. The first 5 days are spent going "wait, what the hell do I do now?"

deadc0de 11y ago
Being passionate and dare I say obsessive about you work is good. I fact, it's the only way to achieve good results. That's what separates hackers from people that just go to work.
- emp_zealoth 11y ago
  There should be some balance. I do similar shit and i stay up till I absolutely have to go to bed, then I can't sleep for 2 hours, despite quite strong sleeping/calming drugs, because I'm coding/doing PCB layout/whatever in my brain still

IndianAstronaut 11y ago

I really do wonder if these students really achieve that much more than those who have a more balanced schedule.

JHSheridan 11y ago

> Students are now asked to give up their present for a chance at a good future. So... an investment?

xhdjejxjx 11y ago
It's more than that, unless you consider investing your physical health part of the deal too. As a current mechanical engineering junior, the expectations have gotten really quite insane. In order to graduate on time you have to be taking 15-18 credits of the hardest classes offered at university. Right now I'm in an 18 credit semester, and next I will be taking 17 credits. Currently I'm in fluid mechanics, finite element analysis, engineering statistics, thermodynamics, and advanced multivariable calculus. I average about 4-5 hours of sleep. The level of stress associated with this major is making me lose my hair at 20 years old, and I've also developed this weird problem where I profusely vomit several times a day.
- tass 11y ago
  You should talk to a school counsellor about the load. What is the worst that can happen if you don't graduate on time? I'm asking because i don't actually know... Talk to a doctor about the other problems you're having - if it's stress related you'll at least have some evidence to back you up if you discuss workload with your school.
  - xhdjejxjx 11y ago
    But you don't understand: that's what everyone else in the program is doing too.
    - will_pseudonym 11y ago
      You are risking your life to keep up with the Joneses. It's not worth it.
    - thephyber 11y ago
      What does what "everyone else is doing" have to do with _your_ personal physical and mental health? Take an honest appraisal of what you think you can do and talk it over with both your major counselor and a school nurse. If your body or mental health can't handle it, take it down a notch and consider dropping a course and retaking it the next semester/quarter. Half of the controversy of the suicides based on parental+peer pressure and competition is that the demands will never plateau or fall. They will continue to rise above the abilities of more than 99% of the people who enter the competition. There is no supply/demand curve where parents/peers and you will magically find an equilibrium. Learn to have your own expectations, independent of your parents and peers.