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There are people out there who will take your politeness and use it against you like a weapon. Telemarketers, for one. The only way to get off the phone is to i
by slavik81 11y ago
There are people out there who will take your politeness and use it against you like a weapon. Telemarketers, for one. The only way to get off the phone is to interrupt them and unilaterally end the conversation.
Fake monks are another good example. They ask you a question, like "what do you want most in the world," which you answer just to be polite. They then write your answer on a token, and give it to you. You feel obligated to accept it because they made it just for you. Then, they ask for a donation in return for the gift you just accepted. Again you feel obligated, this time because you accepted their gift.
The entire thing depends on your polite response to each of their actions. Unless you know where they're going with this, it's impossible to politely escape. By the time I was handing over the money, I knew it was a scam and I still gave them $10 because I felt stupid.
While I have never personally had cause to be impolite during my professional work, sometimes politeness is an improper response.
- fsloth 11y agoInfluence scams are no reason to skip on politeness. The scams use a few well known psychological switches. Once you realize you are being under a dishonest influence attempt it is very easy to disconnect from the process - still politely, if firmly. I suggest "Influence" by Robert Cialdini as a well written general survival guide against the influence artists of the world and as a guidebook as well..
- BookmarkSaver 11y agoI think the more useful way to look at his comment is that similar tactics as these "influence scams" can be used within projects. I've personally found it difficult sometimes to walk the line between bluntness and rudeness. There are going to be instances where a co-worker will continue down the wrong path or make the same mistakes or just not conform to the proper design philosophies or decisions, but things will keep stalling during any polite discussion as they keep walking around the issues while you try to come to the correct decision that they don't want to do (either through ignorance or perceived excessive effort required). At the end of the day, you can't always rely on your manager to step up and say "you are wrong, do it the other way", and informing a stubborn co-worker that their work/decision is stupid can be difficult to do politely if they engage in delaying or obstructive tactics.