5 ms·

As a certified psychologist with the authority to diagnose autism in one of my practicing states, I'd be highly interested in meeting with this woman. I find it

• 205guy 11y ago
  I probably shouldn't argue with a certified psychologist, but I think you need to broaden your horizons, or at least open your mind to the possibilities. Except for a few nuances, this article could've been written about a woman friend of mine. She was diagnosed with Asperger's 2 years ago (by a west coast expert), at the age of 46, but she'd known her whole life she was different, without being able to adapt. She could go to regular school, but was made to read books by herself because she was ahead of the class and responded inappropriately when called. She had definite stimming behaviors when anxious or excited, on top of being physically clumsy and socially awkward. She was bullied in school, ostracized, even verbally abused by her parents ("can't you just behave normally like other kids?"). All of these left lasting trauma that could've been prevented by an earlier diagnosis, but there was no awareness of high-functioning autism when and where she grew up. After smoking a lot of pot to cope in her teens, in her 20s she found work with animals and then computers, both of which she understands better than she understands humans. She took speech classes to be more confident and understand how others could talk in public. Over time, she was able to minimize her outwardly visible traits, such as the stimming. With financial success she was able to live independently and seemingly normally. But then a bad marriage sent her into a depression, and her psychologists gave her many diagnoses (including bi-polar) and prescribed many different drugs. None of them worked long term because the root of her depression was the Asperger's, not a traditional depression (for lack of a better term). Again, not being diagnosed with Asperger's led to many needless pharmaceuticals and suffering. Once out of the bad marriage, she got better though she attributes it to the dozen or so supplements she takes (research on the Internet and self-medication). She met and married someone else that was good for her, and had a child. She herself now says that was a mistake, because she cannot cope with the constant attention and neediness--and she's lucky because her child has less Asperger's traits than she does. With aging and stress of family life, she says her Asperger's traits are coming back. She feels more anxious, she's claustrophobic again, she has trouble with people again, for example meeting with her child's teachers, and I've seen her have a regular tantrum when something went wrong. Noise such as beeping machinery bothers her, and so do fluorescent lights because she can see the flicker in them. When she's having a bad day, all of her senses are heightened and over-sensitive to the point of pain (her description). She tried homeschooling, but she got in horrible fights with her child. That's when she finally got diagnosed (just when Asperger's was dropped from the DSM-V), and now she mentions her diagnosis to the people she interacts with regularly, to explain why for example she can't talk to a teacher in a classroom with fluorescent lights and lots of noise. So even though the diagnosis doesn't change anything and there is no medicine that can make her better, it has really helped her explain to herself and others how and why she is the way she is. It might also prevent misdiagnosis in the future. Sorry for the long anecdote, but I really wanted to give you another example of high functioning autistic person that seems totally normal and issue-free from the outside (or at least used to be--she's losing friends now that she has more outbursts again). Yet knowing her story and her diagnosis, I can see how Asperger's has colored her life and often not in a beneficial way. And often it was the lack of diagnosis in those times 40 and 20 years ago that led to situations that hurt her (ostracized by her parents with resulting trauma, mistreated and mis-medicated for depression). And just because the lady in the article doesn't talk about the negative side of her Asperger's, doesn't mean there isn't one. Like my friend, the negative aspects are private and sometimes traumatic. One more thing: the person pictured in that article looks strikingly similar to my friend: thin lips with an unnatural smile, bad hair, poor makeup and slightly off-style clothes (all poorly imitated social graces). I know it's totally unscientific, but I often notice that people with Asperger's (those I know diagnosed, and others I suspect undiagnosed) have trouble smiling artificially for a camera. My friend said she noticed her awkward smiles in pictures and learned how to consciously smile for the camera. So especially as a professional in your field, I wish you wouldn't be so dismissive of Asperger's individuals, it doesn't help them in any way. Asperger's, or high functioning on the autism spectrum as we should say now, is a strange thing. It's a collection of many possible deviations from normal, and not every person diagnosed has all of them, yet there is a certain unmistakable blend of behaviors and reactions, sensory sensitivities, social inability, and mind-blindness (lack of theory of mind). Yet the high-functioning individual can mimic or even learn coping behavior that hides some of these (usually not all at once). It doesn't mean they enjoy doing so, or don't have the underlying issue anymore. In fact, my friend says she is physically exhausted at the end of a successful parent-teacher conference just from needing to think so much about how to behave and fit in--and stressing about it.
  • dayon 11y ago
    While I appreciate your story, have you considered that you misread my post? It's the only way I can explain the myriad straw-men in yours.