Maybe I will expand a little bit more on my original post. A colleague of mind left a little earlier before work ended because he had an appointment with some

Maybe I will expand a little bit more on my original post. A colleague of mind left a little earlier before work ended because he had an appointment with some of his highschool friends. From what he told us they don't live in the same area any more but make it a point to meet up once a month. After work I made a detour to get some stuff, and I happened to walk past the cafe where said colleague was hanging out with his friends. I was walking opposite the street but could see them through the glass windows laughing and having a good time, and in that moment I felt a visceral pang of emptiness / loneliness. I am unable to forge a deep level of friendship with people that I meet in Meetup groups - simply because they already have their own cliques and social circle. Even if they do form a new one, it will never be as close-knit as the ones they have formed throughout highschool simply by virtue of the fact that one has been ongoing for a longer time. If you can visualize it like a spider web, where you are in the centre and the 'webs' that branch out are your friends - the more friends you make and the stronger connections you form (usually happens throughout high school and college) - the larger your spider web grows exponentially. The closer a person is to you, the nearer he is to the 'centre' of the web. Think of it this way - the larger the spider web people have, the harder it is for someone to get as close to the centre of the net as possible. At this stage of life - almost everyone already has established their 'spider web'. I know this because I actually do have such a clique since highschool. We still maintain contact over Whatsapp but since I am the only one that is overseas, I am unable to meet up with them frequently. And within that circle I do have a couple of close friends who I message on a weekly basis, and who I would call lifelong buddies. No way will the new friends I make over volunteering/hobbies/meetup groups ever become closer to me than these lifelong buddies I have - so how how can I expect the same for them?