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"If the voice(es) in any way confined themselves to the spectrum of being/knowledge that i as an individual acknowledged that i was in posession of, that would
by thomyorkie 11y ago
"If the voice(es) in any way confined themselves to the spectrum of being/knowledge that i as an individual acknowledged that i was in posession of, that would be one thing, but the world becomes a weird place when they go outside your acknowledged "knowns"."
If you feel like sharing, I'd love to hear more about your experience with this.
- namenumber 11y agoI'm worried i might have overmade that statement a bit. One thing is what i can string myself along in believing in, and memories of the period is growing evermore hazy from year to year. Let me restate it as "the world becomes a weird place when they -seem- to go outside your acknowledged "knowns". Saying they did becomes, based on the manner in which i interpreted things/cues/input at the time, something i can't really say with any degree of certainty. Sorry about perhaps leading you on with my choice of words. But that initial "boom" when you go from "i am me and i am here in my head" to "oh hey, i have an invisible counterplayer in here that is capable of manifesting itself as realistically behaving, voice-pitch-perfect impressions of all my friends and family, who proceed to harass/cajole/support me in a theatrical landscape choreographed with split-second focus on whatever it is my "i" express." Granted, this is also dream, but dream is too fragmented, and too prone to halt|flush|restart compared to four/six hour long internal conversations (with the occasional external auditory hallucination when fitting). And then you get to live that for a few years, and its a mixture of exhilarating and scary as fuck. And you're forever left with a brain that you sometimes think of with the premonition "well, if you could do that, what other tricks do you have up yor sleeve".