Did you actually treat both of your children exactly the same? Did you buy them both only either gender specific clothing, or an equal amount of girl and boy cl

Did you actually treat both of your children exactly the same? Did you buy them both only either gender specific clothing, or an equal amount of girl and boy clothing, until they were old enough to prefer otherwise? Did you do the same with toys? Did they have any contact at all with other people? Family, friends, random strangers in grocery stores who come up to coo at your baby, etc. The first question most people ask (if it is not already obvious by the clothing) is 'girl or boy?' They then treat the child accordingly. The way people coo and talk to boys and girls is different. The toy that they are most likely to pick up and offer to the baby differs according to gender. (So, just having both boy and girl toys available isn't enough.) They hold girls more gently, and play rougher with boys. Oh, and, fwiw, I do have children, a boy and a girl. But, I do not think this make me an authority. More likely, having children would make me biased -- I have a vested interest in believing I treated both of my children equally. An outside observer would be more likely to see my subtle biases. In the same way, parents often favour one child, without realizing they are doing it, even when it is obvious to other people around them.