The transition from it being fun to being torture was strange for me. When I was a teenager I could sit around smoking at parties or with groups of friends pla

The transition from it being fun to being torture was strange for me. When I was a teenager I could sit around smoking at parties or with groups of friends playing computer games getting high, or even just walking the streets stoned and it was an intensely pleasurable experience. At about the age of 21 that all changed over the course of a week and suddenly being high made me feel paranoid and anxious. Being high in a social situation was horrible because I felt like all eyes were on me, judging every little move and sound that I made. I had to stop smoking completely because it was making me feel awful and honestly, I was dependent on it by that point. I couldn't watch movies or play games and the like without being high first because I was always pining after that 'enhanced' experience that was better than the sober experience. I don't smoke anymore (29 years old now) but I've tried taking a few tokes socially a few times over the years to see if I could enjoy it again. Not a chance unfortunately, I sink right into that paranoia and anxiety within minutes.