6 ms·

with these kind of sad news, a phrase always come in to mind; "Permanent solution to a temporary problem"

TeHCrAzY 17y ago
It's unlikely to have been a temporary problem. Depression is pervasive, all encompasing, and, seemingly, far outside your expreiences to have made such an uninformed comment.
- uuilly 17y ago
  If it's far outside his experiences then by definition his comment will be uninformed. Might be nicer to inform him. No need to be condescending.
  - zackattack 17y ago
    It's an emotional issue, and when someone dismisses it as a casual case of melancholy, it can push some buttons.
    - jonah 17y ago
      Yes, it is a serious emotional/chemical/psychiatric issue, but there are alternative solutions that are less drastic. (Even though one may not see them as valid or helpful at the time.)
      - zackattack 17y ago
        using the word "but" was unnecessary because you didn't disagree with anything i said, and it just makes you come across as kind of an argumentative asshole
        kingkilr 17y ago
        Are you out of your mind? He doesn't sound like an argumentative asshole, his sentence flowed perfectly normally with the word "but". Not to abuse the cliche, but have you looked in the mirror?
        YuriNiyazov 17y ago
        This is the point where pg would usually say "please stop". Please stop.
- orionlogic 17y ago
  I was not thinking about this particular situation but suicide as a general. At the end of the day either i am informed or not, i would conculude with the same thought
- CapitalistCartr 17y ago
  It's sure not outside my experiences, and I agree with him. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I struggled with depression for most of my life, and I'm still glad I now manage it and have a successful life.
  - daeken 17y ago
    Some people can cope better than others. I've been suffering with bipolar disorder for about 7 years now (signs were there before that, but it didn't really start affecting my life until ~15 or so), and while I've managed to find ways of dealing with the swings and using both sides to my advantage, it's not always easy. In a particularly bad depressive period, it's not uncommon that'll isolate myself and feed into it, eventually ending up with suicidal thoughts. Thanks to a solid support network and years of learning to cope, I can typically at least pull myself up to the point where I can tell myself "this isn't really what you want, you're just in the throws of depression". If my support network were to crumble at the same time as a major event occurred (like what seems to have happened to him, w.r.t. the very premature babies), getting through this would be very, very difficult. I can't so much as imagine what he was going through, and my condolences go out to his family and friends.
  - Devilboy 17y ago
    In many major depression cases though it really IS a permanent problem. You can sometimes manage it with therapy or drugs but for many people the depression will last their entire lives. There is often no 'cure' and therapy / drugs will not always help. Calling it a 'temporary problem' is not fair.
    - JabavuAdams 17y ago
      See my post above. The depression may well not be temporary, but the span during which suicide seems like a good option often is. It's not unfair to point this out.
      - aaronblohowiak 17y ago
        I think that a person can decide they have had enough suffering in their life. I agree that often people are able to gain hope. It is unfair to categorize the problem of Depression as temporary because ephemerality is not an intrinsic quality of depression; the opposite is frequently the case.
- ig1 17y ago
  A large number of people who make failed suicide attempts don't try again, it's why making changes such as making it harder to kills yourself with a household gas supply has a significant impact on suicide rate. Depression isn't a temporary problem, but the final suicidal impulse often is.
  - koningrobot 17y ago
    A large number of people who make failed suicide attempts don't try again, ... I doubt the truth of that. There are studies that suggest otherwise: http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2008/08/on-permanence-of-suicidality.html http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2008/08/on-permanence-of... .
    - ig1 17y ago
      That blog suggests that instead of 4% going on to commit suicide as the earlier research showed, that 13% do commit suicide later on. That still leaves 87% of aborted suicidees who don't commit suicide afterwards.
- JabavuAdams 17y ago
  Go easy. For many people depression comes in cycles. While the threat is always there, I think the parent poster has a good point. Yes, when someone is in the throes of depression, it's all-encompassing. However, when they're feeling okay, they might well have a hard time even remembering how or why they got so close to the brink. That's what I understand by the parent poster's use of "temporary problem". One can't un-suicide, but one can potentially endure until a brighter day, although if one is truly suicidal, it doesn't seem that way. I.e. The depression isn't temporary. It's the crisis point where suicide seems like the only good alternative that is temporary.
  - koningrobot 17y ago
    One can't unsuicide, but dead people don't feel the desire to unsuicide anyway. Even if they were about to win the lottery (i.e., see a brighter day), they don't regret being dead. No matter how good life can be, it's always worse than death.
jrockway 17y ago
How do you know that being dead isn't better than being alive?

It's unlikely to have been a temporary problem. Depression is pervasive, all encompasing, and, seemingly, far outside your expreiences to have made such an uninformed comment.

uuilly 17y ago
If it's far outside his experiences then by definition his comment will be uninformed. Might be nicer to inform him. No need to be condescending.
- zackattack 17y ago
  It's an emotional issue, and when someone dismisses it as a casual case of melancholy, it can push some buttons.
  - jonah 17y ago
    Yes, it is a serious emotional/chemical/psychiatric issue, but there are alternative solutions that are less drastic. (Even though one may not see them as valid or helpful at the time.)
    - zackattack 17y ago
      using the word "but" was unnecessary because you didn't disagree with anything i said, and it just makes you come across as kind of an argumentative asshole
      - kingkilr 17y ago
        Are you out of your mind? He doesn't sound like an argumentative asshole, his sentence flowed perfectly normally with the word "but". Not to abuse the cliche, but have you looked in the mirror?
        YuriNiyazov 17y ago
        This is the point where pg would usually say "please stop". Please stop.
orionlogic 17y ago
I was not thinking about this particular situation but suicide as a general. At the end of the day either i am informed or not, i would conculude with the same thought
CapitalistCartr 17y ago
It's sure not outside my experiences, and I agree with him. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I struggled with depression for most of my life, and I'm still glad I now manage it and have a successful life.
- daeken 17y ago
  Some people can cope better than others. I've been suffering with bipolar disorder for about 7 years now (signs were there before that, but it didn't really start affecting my life until ~15 or so), and while I've managed to find ways of dealing with the swings and using both sides to my advantage, it's not always easy. In a particularly bad depressive period, it's not uncommon that'll isolate myself and feed into it, eventually ending up with suicidal thoughts. Thanks to a solid support network and years of learning to cope, I can typically at least pull myself up to the point where I can tell myself "this isn't really what you want, you're just in the throws of depression". If my support network were to crumble at the same time as a major event occurred (like what seems to have happened to him, w.r.t. the very premature babies), getting through this would be very, very difficult. I can't so much as imagine what he was going through, and my condolences go out to his family and friends.
- Devilboy 17y ago
  In many major depression cases though it really IS a permanent problem. You can sometimes manage it with therapy or drugs but for many people the depression will last their entire lives. There is often no 'cure' and therapy / drugs will not always help. Calling it a 'temporary problem' is not fair.
  - JabavuAdams 17y ago
    See my post above. The depression may well not be temporary, but the span during which suicide seems like a good option often is. It's not unfair to point this out.
    - aaronblohowiak 17y ago
      I think that a person can decide they have had enough suffering in their life. I agree that often people are able to gain hope. It is unfair to categorize the problem of Depression as temporary because ephemerality is not an intrinsic quality of depression; the opposite is frequently the case.
ig1 17y ago
A large number of people who make failed suicide attempts don't try again, it's why making changes such as making it harder to kills yourself with a household gas supply has a significant impact on suicide rate. Depression isn't a temporary problem, but the final suicidal impulse often is.
- koningrobot 17y ago
  A large number of people who make failed suicide attempts don't try again, ... I doubt the truth of that. There are studies that suggest otherwise: http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2008/08/on-permanence-of-suicidality.html http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2008/08/on-permanence-of... .
  - ig1 17y ago
    That blog suggests that instead of 4% going on to commit suicide as the earlier research showed, that 13% do commit suicide later on. That still leaves 87% of aborted suicidees who don't commit suicide afterwards.
JabavuAdams 17y ago
Go easy. For many people depression comes in cycles. While the threat is always there, I think the parent poster has a good point. Yes, when someone is in the throes of depression, it's all-encompassing. However, when they're feeling okay, they might well have a hard time even remembering how or why they got so close to the brink. That's what I understand by the parent poster's use of "temporary problem". One can't un-suicide, but one can potentially endure until a brighter day, although if one is truly suicidal, it doesn't seem that way. I.e. The depression isn't temporary. It's the crisis point where suicide seems like the only good alternative that is temporary.
- koningrobot 17y ago
  One can't unsuicide, but dead people don't feel the desire to unsuicide anyway. Even if they were about to win the lottery (i.e., see a brighter day), they don't regret being dead. No matter how good life can be, it's always worse than death.

jrockway 17y ago

How do you know that being dead isn't better than being alive?