Your fixation on the idea that other people would never guess how you feel inside indicates that you want very much for them to know. That you've reached some l

Your fixation on the idea that other people would never guess how you feel inside indicates that you want very much for them to know. That you've reached some level of self-awareness and understanding is a good thing. It's a start. But in reality the only thing worse than your thoughts is being alone with them (if we don't count acting upon them). Blogging is not a serviceable substitute for talk therapy; typing is not the same as hearing yourself say it aloud, nor does it generate any real sense that you're being heard in the way you want and need. I've been where you are and when I think back on it I can see clearly that thinking I'd "come to terms with it" was merely another coping mechanism. The truth is that there is an extremely high probability that it's possible to get better. Don't stop here.